Both movies, Get Smart & The Love Guru, released the same weekend and as per Box Office Mojo, the former is building a sizable lead in ticket sales w/ $38,683,480 as opposed to Guru's $13,907,130.

We'll cut Guru some slack since they had a major handicap: Jessica Alba. This is just what Jessica Alba's dying career needs: Another box-office bomb!

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With any new celebrity baby-momma, Jessica Alba's MILF factor is currently in play. Will she lose the weight and return to her previous hotness? Will motherhood take its toll and banish Jessica to Melissa Joan Hart Land?

We normally give around 3-6 months before we lay down a Bastardly MILF Verdict---regardless of how much we hate or love the celebrity (w/ the sole exception of Alessandra Ambrosio, of course).

Since these pics are the first batch of candids to surface after giving birth to baby girl Honor Marie, it's a good time for another lame Bastardly Poll.

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So, it's come down to attending spa openings @ Vegas casinos?! Why isn't she wearing something really tight & short? I mean, besides her bod, does Jessica Simpson have anything else going forself?

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Jessica Alba's really close to popping out her baby boy---so close that she won't be attending the Love Guru premiere next week on June 11th. Since we already know she's having a boy, one other question remains...


I'm pretty sure Cash will work a hard bargain & shoot for $5mil.

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Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

So, where does that rank on the bitch rating?

Everyone knows that fame has turned Jessica Alba into a total bitch. It has effected her so negatively that her deep-seeded hate for media attention compelled her to not invite anyone to her wedding ceremony. Sources close to the couple claim that Cash & Jessica quickly & privately tied the knot in order to avoid the infamous "bastard child" label.

So, who wants to take any guesses as to what their prenuptial agreement looked look?

MORE:
SF Gate Dish

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For someone who hates the paparazzi so much, why would Jessica Alba...

A) Wear that tight fitting, slightly see-thru dress?
And B) Go to Camera Whore Central, Mr. Chows, for dinner?!

Any Bastardly Theories out there?

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