You can't beat the price for staying on The Strip. However, this has to be the most ghetto hotel on The Strip, yes, even more ghetto than Imperial Palace, and it's doors are shutting for good today, January 9th, 2006.

Home of Purple Reign, the badass Prince Tribute Band.

Home of the 24 hour Surf Buffet which even in your drunkest state of mind you'd not eat. It's like, if you had to either choose between dying of alcohol poisoning or eating that buffet, odds are you'd choose death. We even had hotel employees laugh when we asked them about the Surf Buffet.

We always said that we wouldn't stay there again after each visit to the AVNs but it's something you just can't ever get away from...until now. Now we surely have to figure out a new set of accomodations when the AVNs roll around in 2007.

Comment on this Bastardly entry »

Being part of the No Flashing Police was so much fun!

One sidenote to all crazy girls who go down to Rosarito to party: Be wary of those horny, Mexican bartenders. They will get you wasted on 'free' alcohol & take you home! I guess if you're into sleeping w/ shady Mexicans then remember to carry a few condoms!

Comment on this Bastardly entry »

Trading cards on crusty playing cards. [Buy it now on eBay.]

Some dude (Blade Jones) on Stern Fan Network writes...

I will be offering Terri Schiavo memorabilia:


1. $4.95 The Terri Schiavo feeding tube (perfect for sipping your favorite soda).

2. $19.95 - The Terri Schiavo hospice pillow (for a great night of sleep or just an afternoon nap)

3. $24.95 - Terri Schiavo Handcuffs (perfect for arresting protesters who get up in your peace)

4. $9.95 - Official Florida Court appeals document - (blank and ready to be filled out for fast filing)

5. $14.95 - Terri Schiavo Happy Songs CD - 24 tracks of easy listening music - each track is actually silent, but Terri wouldn't have known the difference because she was brain dead.

If you laughed, you should be ashamed.

Terri Schiavo is gone. After 14 days of straight-up starvation, people will mourn her death probably until Monday or Tuesday. The delay accounts for the strong sermons on Sunday in churches all across the country that will plead with God to allow Terri into heaven. God bless her.

Now, let's take care of some business. When you go to eBay & type in Terri's full name, you get around 20 results. I'm sure that by the weekend, that number will inch up to at least 50, so in order to capture the capitalistic spirit of our great nation, check out some items you can buy in memory of Terri.

Read the rest of this Bastardly entry »

That 4-leaf clover is not courtesy of Photoshop, my friends. It's the real deal, baby. I found it on a stroll through a forest during a camping trip with friends in Boonville, Cali. Another friend claimed she saw it first, but I swear to you, I bloody saw it and had it in my hands before hearing anything from her snakey mouth. Some people will do anything to get a piece of luck on their side. Damn them.

Well, the trip to Mexican Mike's apple farm in Booneville was a long-long awaited one. We did some skeet shooting, took a long tour of the entire apple farm & of course, a lot of people got pretty wasted.

Anyway, if you're ever driving along Highway 128, make sure to stop off at Mexican Mike's fruit stand and pick up a small glass of apple cider. You'll be love.

Then again, if apple cider doesn't do it for you, I'm sure you'll enjoy Boonville's very own beer! For those of you who haven't, make sure you hit up the annual Boonville Beer Festival in the springtime. You won't remember what hit you after you experience utter drunkenness under the sun. Note: Kids, don't forget your fake IDs!

Comment on this Bastardly entry »

Oh the pain.

That's all I remember. I don't know if any of you have endeavored down this path, but I suggest you keep a trashcan nearby just incase your body pays a visit to the Yackatori Monster. Thankfully there was no yacking in our regretable experience. I just remember everyone complaining about a severe burning sesnsation in their stomachs & throats.

I'm thankful for the experience b/c this way, I will forever remain clear of Everclear.

Comment on this Bastardly entry »

Shane of Natty Vibes

This was a crazy night---from what I can remember. I was sporting my new digital camera at a Lu'au that was going down at University of San Fran. By the end of the night my digicam was given the all sacred Corona Bath. I was a little pissed at the guy who did it, but at the end I was thankful for my 4-year Best Buy warranty!

Camera aside, it was a pretty sweet Lu'au because the USF Hawai'i Club coughed up big bucks to have Natural Vibrations as their musical act. It must have cost them around $5k, but thank God for rich kids! What would we do without them?

Anyway, the fun lit up @ the after-party. Shane and I were talking some politics (being in SF, it was a must) and I must admit, the guy is as liberal as you can get. But let's face it, being liberal is so much more fun! He was packing like a pound of marijuana in and around his leather jacket (weird, yet cool). For all I know, he could've been a dealer on the side. The music industry is tough, I tell you. Tough!!


The Snake Dance. Can you handle it?

In attendance were the Chimp, Howard the Duck & the bloody Chon! Duck & Chon cut out early so they could attend to some private business (i.e. probably wild-western sex). Meanwhile, The Chimp claims to have downed two 40s, but he keeps forgetting that he's Chinese and everyone knows that the Chinese are inherently very sneaky people! He probably poured away 75oz and then finished up the last 5ozs and was convinced he drank two 40s only because he was really drunk off the last 5ozs. Very sad, indeed. I know Jacs is probably grinning right now at our lack of staaayle when it comes to choice spirits.

Comment on this Bastardly entry »