Bastardly Birthday: The Beautiful Nicole "Coco" Austin is 29!


When you look at her, she still looks like an innocent 18 year old with slightly enlarged body parts that God gifted her, but believe it or not, our favorite Coco celebrated her 29th birthday with husband/sugar daddy/pimp at her side. The big bash was held @ the ultra exclusive and pimped out Plumm nightclub in NYC.

And, since we know you bastards love Nicole & her voluptuous ass, we're going to link to one of our all-time favorite Coco posts: Coco vs Coralie Eichholtz/Robinson - Bastardly Ho Matchup! This was posted way back in March, 2006.

Read the rest of this Bastardly entry »

50 Scandalous Comments

"the beautiful nicole" man, u need to fucking get laid

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:07pm

haha, I think she's hot in a cartoonish kind of way

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:11pm

why a man would put a wedding ring on that is beyond me. if her mouth was wide open, you'd be forgiven for slipping your cock in, for the fact that she resembles a blow up doll.

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:14pm

She's really stubby & short, makes her thighs look like a cellulite fiest, she should starve herself, all though her nails would fall off, but, hey, that's why there are fake nails

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:14pm

2,
let's say she is hot...but beautiful? the word beautiful and this thing dont belong in the same sentence EVER

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:16pm

lmao, in the third picture that looks like "fail" printed on the ass of her dress. *geekgasms*

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:17pm

#5 agree, she's not beautiful, that fucking JAW!!!!

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:20pm

Yeah, she looks like she was the runner up in the World Fellatio Championships. I'd sex tape her though. Hot, but not beautiful. That's pushing it.

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:25pm

#8.. you mean you would tape you and her having sex, or you would tape her down???

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:30pm

well d55, I'd hit it, I bet she's a tigresse in bed.

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:31pm

i really thought it said the " beautiful" Nicole... but i guess not

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:39pm

My friend allways carries so called "rape tape" along with him

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:41pm

maybe beautiful is some kind of euphemism. if thats the case maybe it really means the "whorish" nicole or the "tart"...

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:43pm

well, maybe "the beautiful" title was some type of sarcasm...cuz the caption on the first page about her being 100% natural has got to be

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:45pm

Fucking that chick would be like getting a license for a burnt cock.

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:54pm

d55
you got it

its sarcasm

anyways she makes my penis shrivel up and die

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 10:54pm

hahaha and she certainly still looks like an innocent 18 year old

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 11:07pm

you just know there is a "beautiful" gaping cameltoe under that dress...

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 11:25pm

dayum this chick is fucking hot!!!

whoops wrong post > thought i was still on the Britney post

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:00am

eeew this chick is fucking nasty!

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:10am

pass...next

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 1:26am

That bitch is so nasty. In a crack-whore kind of way nasty.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 7:56am

dude....i thought she was in her 40's....i'm not joking!

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:02am

oh god...fishnets on those thighs...*puke*

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:22am

she loks like a ham

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:23am

weee easter ham!!!! =D yay

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:23am

maybe she looks like something to fuck, but she is not that beauty....

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:38am

she is a HOT woman,and i shall add her to my list

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 9:20am

Wait, wait, wait. You are all missing the point:

29!?

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 10:32am

ok, just like bangs are back, fishnets are back, as well!!

DON'T HATE, YOU BASTAAADS!!

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 11:14am

She does look extremely sexy ...but I think that trying to screw this chick....is like trying to screw the New York Subway...

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 11:35am

i've seen worse.

i always thought she was somewhere in her late 30s though.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:04pm

That ass is the business!!

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:25pm

Okay 29 going on 40. Yeah she has more miles than a third world country rent-a-car. I don't mind her curves but she dresses really bad - its one thing to promote her curves but she is more cheep and trashy. Also no offense to ICE T, but she is just using the brother for PR. Cmon ICE are you that whipped.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:25pm

she would be pretty if she was less fake.

that being said, I could rock that dress so much better! I have the booty and boobs, and they're real..plus it'd be less trashy on a brunette. it would actually be hot, in a European-club-scene sort of way. which is perfect, considering that's exactly where I'd wear it.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:36pm

She is such a SLUT

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 12:45pm

BITCH don't hate it's all her husband

Sunday, July 13th, 2008 @ 11:51am

I WONDER WHERE HE PUTS HIS BALLS,WHEN ICE T HITS THE ASS

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 1:13pm

How many times has she turned 29?

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 1:39pm

obviously oblivious and ostentatious overexposed otter! outwardly okay, over all overly overplayed overkill

lol I don't even know if that makes any sense

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 7:00pm

Nasty.

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 8:43pm

i'd hit it,das' some gangsta ass

Saturday, March 22nd, 2008 @ 10:20pm

nasty hot slut!

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 1:59am

i like her in a cartoonish way, but bit nasty slut

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 2:08am

What a natural and ravishing beauty. Holy shit. My god. I'm flabbergasted.

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 8:13pm

Coco is wayyy to thick, IMO. Her legs are like sausages.
Now, that Emma B. is 100% better in all way.

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 8:18pm

Doesn't do anything for me. But then, she doesn't have to.

Sunday, March 23rd, 2008 @ 8:36pm

Ice T is fucking a tranny.

Monday, March 24th, 2008 @ 7:54pm

Every Girl Has A Camel Toe!!...She Just Promotes Hers Better, Thats All..I'D ride that Camel Till It Bucked Me Off...

Friday, June 13th, 2008 @ 4:01am

i hav 2 give CoCo masive credit she puts up wit so much shit from her hubby ICE-T my god has anyone seen the pics of him trying to eat her tit in front oh a live audience My GOD i think she pretty look at her eyes

Sunday, July 13th, 2008 @ 11:56am

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