what. the. f'ck.

One can certainly understand better now why these two winners are so studly

The Vegan makes me seriously ILL. While Perkoff doesn't do anything for me either, he at least does not make my stomach turn...that red hair, pasty skin and lanky body are just the ultimate combo of unattractive.

I am very surprised that you boys at Bastardly are even concerned with this Perkoff. We all know you're studs.

eh... yeah, you're right farmgirl. I just wanted an excuse to post that whack pic up on the site. he should be happy for the free publicity and linkage he's getting to his site now.

Ummm, I visited the Perkoff website and I've changed my mind. He makes my stomach turn too. I've always thought that ugly/nerdy people are probably nice and normal if you get to know them, but after reading some of his website I can assure you that Perkoff is a disturbing person. I wonder how old he is? It says something about graduating high school, but then he talks about his parents giving him money because they went away. I am pretty sure that he'll be living with them for a long, long time.

JESUS! I swear, if these two were the last men on earth....I would sew my vagina shut.

OUCH!!!

so mike the vegan has attained 'classic' stauts at bastardly why not 'use' him more often ???

Ew ew ew ew ew we ewe e w ewe we, ok, I don't know who the firebush guy is, but I just lost my lunch. That is FOUL!

Not hard to find a pic of that other guy, he left his website addy. Dork.

I've seen that pic of Perkoff around the web before. Like those "family" websites where ol' sis lost her teeth from putting the egg beater in her mouth. I think Perkoff (jerkoff) is a fake ass who just wanted to spam his pussy site to get attention and he has.

Hmm. Isn't it funny how a pencil-neck doesn't show up QUITE as much when one is buck-naked? In the interest of being on a fair playing field, I'd say Perkoff should ALSO take his Clothesoff. Whadya think?

And -- I just made myself throw-up in my mouth a little bit, too.

LOL, I'm going to put an article in my blog about you making an article on your blog about me.

You do that perky. That will give us some entertainment for a while.

This rules!

Did you think you would be able to come on here and "meet some nice ladies"???

Perky is enjoying the publicity...

check it!

OMG, haha, I didnt get chance to check this entire post out at work, haha so here we got psycho stalker boy against...mike the vegan, whomever the hell he is? Hmm I'll take the stalker over that "orange on a toothpick" up there, hahaha thanks for the laugh :)

The google-ized logo of Bastardly looks awesome. I have quite an acquaintance with intellectual property law and I think you're pretty safe should you care to use it -- the key issue in litigation is whether two entities could ever be confused, and that won't happen.

Hey, I'm not a stalker, I just am shy.

Hey just so you know Perkoff is some retard from rec.sport.pro-wrestling but originally came there from alt.pro-wrestling.wwf. No one in the newsgroup rec.sport.pro-wrestling respects him. He has to constantly "morph" and change his posting identity in an attempt to stay out of people's killfiles which all but erase him from existance for that person. He's a loser, posts nothing but bullshit, and likes to lie about everything from his sexual conquests to what he had for breakfast that morning. If you really want a laugh, google the idiot, or better yet go to groups.google.com and type in "Perkoff" and see what you get. I'm telling you this chode is hated by many, disliked by all, and has a very good chance of winning the vote for "worst poster" for rec.sport.pro-wrestling's "Poster Awards" for the year 2005.

This guy gives new definition to the term "Dork" and he looks like he would be the one in gym class to shower in his underwear.

Um...*wow*.... I don't know what's sadder....

And that is a relatively small area that needed blacked out on the vegan pic, but I thank the gods of Bastardly for having the mercy on us females TO black out that part!! *shudders* of the thought of actually SEEING it!!

Granted, I have my blog on the web, several, in fact (one for my artwork, one for my general catty bitching commentary on life, the other is my personal one), but I would like to say I'm pretty...*sane*. Nor do I talk shit about the very site I frequent.

If I had to chose between one or the other... I'll just bat for the other team!!

HAHAHA! Thanks for the google logo Moe! I read that dudes on-line journal thing and it's really lame.

Perky, I have some advice for you....quit being such a load man. Why don't you go join a Dungeons and Dragons group or something? You are never going to "meet nice ladies" if you keep acting like a stalker.

I think Perkoff is the REAL LIVE Kip from Napolean Dynamite!
"You're just jealous that I've been chatting on line with babes all day."

SHUT UP! GOD!

Seriously, if you haven't already, go to his website. His stupid picture stays up the whole time and you can't get rid of it. It's really lame and there is ONE comment posted on the whole damned thing. UGH.......

LOL one of the kids that is obsessed with me from a usenet newsgroup posted here, why you so obsessed with me kid?

What am I being gullible about?

For some reason I did some research on Perkoff, I have a strong feeling the whole Perkoff thing is a complete joke towards geeks. I dont think that picture is really him.

Capt. Trips, enough already.

God, you are pathetic dude. What's the matter Biff, can't find any friend to play with you???

Capt Trips you're lack of self control amuses me, please continue.

Capt Trips, why don't you try not being yourself(if your true self is a person who has no control and loses his temper)

You might want to change, unless you're just pretending to be a guy who can't keep his cool. Who knows it's the internet.

Sadly, "Perkoff" is for real. He's not some loser who has made all that shit up -- he's just some loser. He would best serve humanity by taking his own life, but you can't trust him to be able to do so without fucking it up and putting himself into a coma where he would be a burden to the state. The best thing for him to do would be to become involved in a hunting "accident" with him as the victim.

This guy is about as bright as a ten watt bulb, and almost as useful. If he were a rug, he would be the dog's floor mat by now.

ok i'm a geek,what 'role' or 'character' should i play on the net?? i've got to move up you know...

The visual personification of "loser" used to be Mike the Vegan, but now he's been supplanted by perky. Not just "looks the part," his posting sucks big time. He calls this "writing an article about him?" Yeah, just like Mad magazine writes articles. Who does he get style tips from, Bill Gates?

Hey perky --get contacts, a tan and start working out, pronto. And lose the narcissistic blog.

I don’t know if any of you took the time to read perk’s Online Diary. I did (sorry I was bored). It’s so hysterical that I had to share it with u guys. What a freak!!!!!

My Online Diary

1-11-01
I was chatting on the internet with a lady today, she lives 3 hours away from me, we set up a meeting, I drove all the way there and knocked on the door, A FAT GUY ANSWERED THE DOOR. I asked if Julie(that was her name) was there. The guy said no Julie lived there. I got in my car and drove the 3 hours back home. I just got here now. When I got here she was still on so I messaged her, she told me she was just messing with me and that I was pathetic for trying to "hook up" with a girl from the internet, and that I got what I deserved.

1-14-01
Today, I met this girl on chat named I_Suck_if_you_pay, well I took her up on the offer, I went to the address she gave me which at least wasn't 3 hours away this time. And guess the heck what? She wasn't who she said she was either, I just got out of jail, I had to have my mom pick me up.

1-15-01
Well I have decided to give up on trying to get ladies on the internet, it just never works out.

2-13-01
I got a job today, after 19 months of not having a job I finally have a job.

2-29-01
This job is starting to piss me off, this girl I work with called me a wacko today. I was so sad I took my break. I went into my car and cried. Ladies I'm a sensitive guy, if you like sensitive guys I'm the guy for you. I'm not ashamed to cry.

3-19-01
Today I had a really rude customer, I'm in charge of putting the chesse on the cheeseburgers so I put a little bit more than chesse on Mr. Rudes cheeseburger, thats right, I spit on it.

3-22-01
Theres a new guy at work, I've been here over a month and no ones even asked me my name, all the suddan this new guy is here and they are all nice to him.

3-28-01
Today I had off of work, so I was chatting with some ladies on the internet. I know I told you I wouldn't, but I did. I arranged to meet her. She was a 45 year old woman and told me she would rock my world. I got there and she was quite a large woman. I asked her to suck my dick, and she told me thats not the way to talk to a lady, she kicked me out. WHY CAN'T THINGS EVER WORK FOR ME???

4-20-01
Theres a new girl at work, her names Penny, she is nice, she asked me my name today.

4-22-01
Theres a rumor going around work that Penny is having sex with that new guy I told you about awhile ago. I thought she was different.

5-18-01
Well Penny never even says hi to me anymore, I'm really sad.

9-19-01
I've been away for awhile. I tried to kill my self on May 19th. I got taken to this place downtown and they finally let me out today.

9-22-02
Just got outta the hospital, this time after a year. I am never going to try to kill my welf again.

9-23-02
My mom gave me $20.00 to buy some food while her and my dad were outta town. I didn't use the money for food. I went to the porno shop and rented some pornos. While I was paying some kids I went to school with walked in. They walked past and I could here them talking about me, than as I was leaving they called me Steven Jerkoff. This was my nickname in High School, see my last name kinda rhymes with Jerkoff. They were like "Hey now we know why he has that nickname STEVEN JERKOFF!!!!" They yelled it really loud.

9-29-02
Remember those pornos I rented? Well I copied them onto a video tape, my mom was "cleaning" aka SNOOPING AROUND. And she found the tape. She called me downstairs and it was playing on the tv. She said "WHAT IS THIS?" I didn't say anything. She called me a jerkoff and told me she didn't want to see my face.

10-11-02
All my family was over today for my Grandma's birthday, they were all looking at me crazy. I think my mom told them about my porno tape.

10-25-02
I got a job again. I've been there for a whole week now. The people don't like me here either

Wow...this "perkoff" is really just a stain on humanity. I didn't think such a retarded, ugly, weird person could exist. Who the fuck drives 3 hours to hook up with a girl? or gets rejected by a 45 y/o fat woman after asking for a BJ? That's beyond pathetic, it's beyond pitiful, it's truly disgusting!! How does he have a sense of dignity? He works somewhere for a month and no one asks him his name? I was literally cracking up. I mean, someone just kill this kid because he even sucks at killing himself. How did he screw that up??

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Mike the Vegan has been found!

believe it or not... he's now eating meat! and he's in a Mexican prison!

So, Perkoff's website is extraordinarily GAY. There is a pic of a skank with a sign that I says something like "Perkoff is hot" or something like that and she looks like a cracked out stripper.

Perky, did you give the little stripper some crank so she would hold up that sign?

Go back to playing D&D you fag!

oh yeah, and by popular demand....

um i'll take the vegan.

BTW...anyone notice the GIRL has a larger black-out on the crotch than he does??? Things that make ya go hmmm.... :-P

Capt. Trips I can't tell if you're just pretending to be a gullible moron or if you really are? If you are pretending to be a gullible moron, my question for you is why?

Oh, wait, I get it....Your site whining about how lonely you are and how people are mean to you because you are a HUGE geek is all just for sympathy right? Your life really isn't pathetic and filled with people making fun of you and sitting at home getting caught playing with yourself by mommy.

WHOEVER EMAILED ME! Hey whoever emailed me and called me "The White Steve Urkel" very funny.

Have you ever heard of a character? It seems people love to hate the Perkoff character.

People need to lighten up, and stop getting mad and calling names to something that isn't even real.

You are a moron. Go back and read #8 and figure it out. Clearly, you don't want anyone to talk to you so I will grant you one part of that wish and take you out of my equation.....Later Biff.

Capt Trips, you need to calm down. Why is it so hard for you to control your anger? Seriously kid, I hope you can relax, calm down, don't be all angry, lighten up, don't be so bothered by some words written.

You ok now?

lol @ all the tom-foolery. Perkoff is The Vegan's little brother... hell, he's gotta be. and yea, i agree with some of the posters, the blackout smudged on Liz's pussy shouldn't be so huge. and there's really no reason to blackout her face since i have the rights to that pic and that she signed a full model release for this shoot and others. so, let's see the Bastardly get a little more edge and show a bit more T&A. this isn't a corporate site (yet), is it, fellas?

and yea, i also agree with the poster that said Mike the Vegan is becoming a cult figure thanks to the Bastardly. that's hilarious.

word.

Did anyone read Perky's online journal? WHOA. I don’t know which is more sad, the fact that he has tried to kill himself several times or the fact that he is so desperate for attention that he’d put it on the web for everyone to read.

Advice for Perky: Stop stalking women ... stick to your pornos, but hide them from your mommy a little better. Or here's an idea: Get your own place to live.

Capt Trips gets all his news stories from The Onion.

Seems to me people hate all of your characters. Maybe you should take the giant hint and try being YOURSELF instead of a desperate homo. Quit asking people to "be my friend."

HA! I knew it was fake

So am I right then perkoff, you are doing the site as a faux pas?