You have to sign your life away. It's three pages long. It starts, 'It came as a great shock to us that one of our guests has been trying to sell their invitations. We are sorry to have to ask you, our dear friends and honoured guests, to sign this agreement but we feel it is the only way to ensure the security of our wedding.

Banned subjects included the cake, the rings, entertainment, speeches, food, the venue and other guests. As for the dress, nothing about the train, cut, colour, designer or material can be revealed. [Christina Aguilera's Wedding invitation/contract, Daily Mail]

Talk about fanning the flames. I mean, Christina must know that all this mad secrecy will only increase the desire to know. Maybe, from a more subconscious level, that was ultimately Christina's intension? Plus, even if people do find out how the cake tasted or whether the train was longer than Star Jones' train, I seriously doubt they will give a shit when they wake up the next morning. Come on, now!

One last Christina stab...

Guests including singer Justin Timberlake - like Christina, a former member of American television's Mickey Mouse Club - and his film-star girlfriend Cameron Diaz, as well as actresses Carmen Electra and Drew Barrymore and musicians Nelly and Pink, were told precisely what they were not allowed to discuss with 'any third party'.

There's no better way to feel really important than make yourself appear important in the eyes of already important* people. Oh, that Christina...!


*From a superficial standpoint, of course.

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