Hot Chicks with Douche Bags

After all the hotness of Alessandra Ambrosio we saw while she was heating up the Webby Awards with Doutzen Kroes, Ale's been spending more time with daughter, Anja. Unfortunately, this time they were photographed with scruffy looking lucky bastard Jamie Mazur. Seriously, what a lucky bastard! Look at that guy!

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Cheryl Cole celebrated her 26th birthday a day later and came out wearing this £4,000 mini-dress by British designer Alexander McQueen. However, not pictured is Cheryl's 49 year old mom, Joan, who didn't wear panties. Yeah, I don't have any of those and don't know if I'd want to post those. Source

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These were snapped yesterday as the couple hit up a Hollywood coffee joint.

With all the cash that must be rolling into Megan Fox's various bank accounts, I'm pretty sure Brian Austin Green is a happy man these days. I'm sure the long sessions of Megan Fox Tantric Sex don't hurt, as well. That bastard!

DAMN YOU, BRIAN AUSTIN GREEN!!

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Audrina Patridge is on vacation in Mexico with her ex-boyfriend Corey Bohan, a BMX rider. These chicks from The Hills must really enjoy whoring themselves out to get a nice payday. You got Heidi and Spencer in Costa Rica and Audrina in Mexico. Oh, and Lauren Conrad is doing a book tour.

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AnnaLynne McCord went to lunch with Brad Furman (who?) at Gjelina in Venice Beach. Why the hell did he bring his skateboard along, I have no idea. But reports are that they left together so I'm assuming he met up with her on his skateboard and she was giving him a ride home afterwards?

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The world mourns as Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt go their separate ways to battle with painful emotions that follow any tragic breakup. Getting teary-eyed yet? Since we have nothing better to do, we covered the couple's relationship over the past 12-16 weeks (sounds much longer than 3-4 months) as they enjoyed endless amounts of STD-infested sex inside luxury hotels around the globe.

So, now what?

Well, Paris will settle with yet another guy following a few weeks of "I'm single, again" one night stands with dudes she meets at her scheduled events or at after-parties or while getting gas or coffee---pretty much, wherever & whenever she feels like it.

As for Doug Reinhardt, it's a bit tricky. He's now in a special category of guys: Guys Who Have Fucked Paris Hilton. These are all guys we'll probably never hear about again, but you can bet your ass he's getting ass each night of the week. As a member of this special club, a few items are automatically assumed:

A. He's carrying the latest in celebrity STD technology.
B. He can never sleep with the likes of Angelina, Charlize, Alessandra, etc, etc---basically the respectable, famous women of our day.
C. He can always sleep w/ the slutty whores of society---yes, all those beautiful girls who worship Paris Hilton (read her books, wear her perfume), love drunken sex, previously gave blow jobs on the school bus when in high school, currently give blow jobs inside club restrooms, etc, etc.

So yeah, if you think Doug Reinhardt is gonna be a lonely man, think again. That dude has easy access to all the slutty bitches us normal guys think are totally hot, but would never consider touching b/c of one reason or another (she might be a prostitute, afraid of getting STDs, terrified of getting our penis chopped off following initial entry, or simply, don't have the balls to make the first move). Doug won't have to worry about making a move w/ the slutty bitches of society b/c they'll be throwing themselves at him---with legs spread eagle.

And now for some more touching pics of Paris & Doug over the past few weeks...
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