Paris Hilton

As you guys know, Paris Hilton is currently promoting the Middle East version of her stupid BFF show in Dubai. While in the city, Paris is taking time of sexing up obscenely rich Arab men to infect various beaches, swimming pools at luxury hotels, and, in this particular case, cute & harmless dolphins, so if you're traveling through the region, be extremely wary. We advise, at the very minimum, saran wrapping your entire body before going for a dip...


Here are two other captioned pics...

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Paris Hilton is in Dubai to promote the Middle East version of her stupid BFF show. This means there won't be drinking or swearing like her previous LA and London versions.

"I wanted to know everything about this place first because I wanted to make sure everything was OK," the hotel heiress was quoted as saying by The National newspaper Thursday. "I just want to respect everyone here."

"I expect to learn a lot here. It's a completely different world," Source

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Don't know if you guys know this, but ever since Conan relocated his show to the new time slot his ratings have tanked well below what Jay Leno used to pull in the same spot. Well anyway, Conan invited Paris Hilton (of all people) to ho-it-up on his show last night in hopes to improve viewership...Did it work?

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Photo Credit: Bauer-Griffin

Less than 24 hours following her breakup with Douche Reinhardt, Paris Hilton was spotted making out with none other than Cristiano Ronaldo, of all people, at a Hollywood club last night.

The dude just signed a $131 million contract with Real Madrid, so why celebrate by sexing up a washed up, STD-infested chick who's pretty much the equivalent of a celebrity prostitute? We'll assume he was drunk and any sex that ensued was simply meaningless, drunken sex.

Anyway, Certified Bastard TORO messaged us a couple hours back with the following:

Check this out...You guys have to post this...

Paris Hilton may have hooked up with soccer stud, Cristiano Ronaldo.

The superstars were allegedly getting intimate at L.A. hotspot, MyHouse, last night. Apparently Paris, who broke up with Doug Reinhardt less than 24 hours ago, wants to cash in on Ronaldo’s success. The soccer stud is set to join the Real Madrid soccer team for a world record of 80 million pounds (approximately $132, 575, 998 dollars)!

Seems like Paris, finally got her way! Although Hilton's rep denied it, rumor is that the heiress has been head over heels for Ronaldo since they met him at a nightclub, last summer. Back then, sources say Ronaldo didn't pay much attention to the heiress. This time around things were apparently much different.

Sources told X17 Online: ‘Cristiano and Paris were all over each other swapping spit the entire night! His table needed every waitress in the building to service the large quantities of alcohol, and he spent an excess of 20 thousand dollars on champagne and drinks.'

Apparently the fun didn’t stop there. Paris and her sister, Nicky, reportedly left the club in a chauffeured car, while Ronaldo hopped in a cab around 3am! According to reports, Cristiano then went to Nicky’s residence in West Hollywood and didn’t leave until 5am. Paris has yet to be seen!

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The world mourns as Paris Hilton & Doug Reinhardt go their separate ways to battle with painful emotions that follow any tragic breakup. Getting teary-eyed yet? Since we have nothing better to do, we covered the couple's relationship over the past 12-16 weeks (sounds much longer than 3-4 months) as they enjoyed endless amounts of STD-infested sex inside luxury hotels around the globe.

So, now what?

Well, Paris will settle with yet another guy following a few weeks of "I'm single, again" one night stands with dudes she meets at her scheduled events or at after-parties or while getting gas or coffee---pretty much, wherever & whenever she feels like it.

As for Doug Reinhardt, it's a bit tricky. He's now in a special category of guys: Guys Who Have Fucked Paris Hilton. These are all guys we'll probably never hear about again, but you can bet your ass he's getting ass each night of the week. As a member of this special club, a few items are automatically assumed:

A. He's carrying the latest in celebrity STD technology.
B. He can never sleep with the likes of Angelina, Charlize, Alessandra, etc, etc---basically the respectable, famous women of our day.
C. He can always sleep w/ the slutty whores of society---yes, all those beautiful girls who worship Paris Hilton (read her books, wear her perfume), love drunken sex, previously gave blow jobs on the school bus when in high school, currently give blow jobs inside club restrooms, etc, etc.

So yeah, if you think Doug Reinhardt is gonna be a lonely man, think again. That dude has easy access to all the slutty bitches us normal guys think are totally hot, but would never consider touching b/c of one reason or another (she might be a prostitute, afraid of getting STDs, terrified of getting our penis chopped off following initial entry, or simply, don't have the balls to make the first move). Doug won't have to worry about making a move w/ the slutty bitches of society b/c they'll be throwing themselves at him---with legs spread eagle.

And now for some more touching pics of Paris & Doug over the past few weeks...
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Photo Credit: bauergriffinonline.com

In a previous Paris Hilton post we quoted her saying that she planned to make Doug Reinhardt her husband... well, you can never believe anything with Paris Hilton. These were taken at the premiere screening of Rex a couple nights ago and yesterday the press releases come out that Paris and Ultra Cool Doug have split. Looks like Paris will be looking for her next victim and it's back to The Hills for Ultra Cool Doug.

"In response to inquiries on whether Paris Hilton has split with Doug Reinhardt, we can confirm this is true they are no longer together," her rep said in a statement. "They remain friends and we ask that you please respect their privacy. Paris will not discuss the relationship further." Source

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