Before I begin the review, I gotta say that w/ all the horndogg hype surrounding this movie, I decided to use MovieTickets.com for the first time b/c my luck sucks ass w/ semi-popular movies, so since my luck sucks ass, I get to the theater to only see a quarter of it filled at which point I let out a loud (subconscious, of course) fuck you directed at MovieTickets.com (for taking my extra dollar for svc charges & driving up total ticket cost to 10.75), but regardless, I gotta say that like millions of other people out there, I'm a total sucker for Tarantino flicks b/c the guy just thinks differently and thinking different not only sells, but it makes his competitors look like mindless clones who follow the same script every time they touch a camera, so yeah, since you get the point, let's dive into the movie b/c, after all, it was 3 hours 11 minutes long and included a total of two movies, many hilarious shorts (i.e. prevues), and pesky missing reels at key steamy points of the movie (damn you!! I really wanted to see that Vanessa Ferlito lap dance, you bastard!!), so in an attempt to keep things in some sort of order (not really) let's start w/ Robert Rodriguez's Planet Terror, which has more blood & guts flying around than maybe even the recently released 300, but I'm pretty sure Mr. Rodriguez smoked tons & tons weed when making this movie and if you can afford it, I would highly recommend watching this first half of Grindhouse in a drugged/boozed-out state of mind b/c I'm pretty sure it will only add to the craziness that will soon take hold of your balls & won't let go, but there are some seriously hot chicks in this first part---especially if you have a hot chicks w/ big guns fetish---and out of them all, those two hot Latina chicks were my favorite by far & are coincidently also Robert Rod's Venezuelan twin nieces (Elise and Electra Avellan), so all I gotta say is HOOK-IT-UP, BABY, but enough on Planet Terror b/c as soon Mr. Rodriguez's contribution ends, Grindhouse dives into a set of HILARIOUS trailers before Tarantino's 2nd half ("Death Proof") takes hold, but before we get into Death Proof, I just wanna say that I absolutely loved the trailers for "DON'T!" and "Thanksgiving" and hoping that some bastard gets them up on YouTube quickly b/c they will be wildly popular, so w/ movie # 2 of 2, Death Proof brought on a crazy cast headed up by Kurt Russell as the crazy old stunt man dude who has this kinky-ass fetish of killing hot chicks by way of smashing into them w/ his death proof stunt car straight from the 70s, but man there is so much unbelievable hotness trapped in Death Proof that talking about here will only put it to shame, so all I gotta say is that if you want to see some amazing legs, hot chicks, crazy-ass car chase followed by an even crazier punch-fest at the end where the chicks are beating the shit out of Kurt Russell, then you gotta get your ass into the theater, so in conclusion, coming from a guy who likes a lot of really bad movies, I highly recommend this one b/c like I said at the very beginning, it's different & who the hell doesn't like different?!

Here's a trailer of "THANKSGIVING." It was directed by Eli Roth.

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