Bastardly Lady of the Day - Jessica



Jessica writes:

Hello Bastardly community.....my name's Jessica and I'm submitting myself for your "Lady of the Day."

I'm a 20 year old from Ohio, I go to college, work, and still have time to love your site. Lately I've kind of thought the whole Lady of the Day has been lacking and would try and change that.

Also, I know there's not many body pictures...I promise, I'm not fat I just couldn't find any. I'd take some, but I've noticed in the past girls get yelled at for taking pics "just for the blotd." If anyone is curious, I'm 5'4 and am around the 125-130 range (average). If you don't believe me and demand body pictures I'll take some. Anyway, give me your worst gaunlet, I'm more than ready


Which female celebrity would you go lesbian for?

There's a few, Adriana Lima without question, Rachel Mcadams, and then probably the usual Scarlett Johansson/Jessica Alba type.

Do you like your boobs?

No. I'm not lesbian or anything but one thing I always notice on other girls are boobs and I won't lie, I'm only in a B cup right now. So hopefully with the help of some surgery down the road I could fit into a C-D.

Would you sleep with a dude the age of your grandpa for $3,000,000?

How do you think I'm going to get bigger boobs someday?

Have people (guys) ever said you look like a particular celebrity (…to try get in your pants)?

Not really. I'm naturally a blonde and about a year ago one guy told me I resembled Kellie "buttaface" Pickler off of last year's American Idol. I didn't think so...and as you can probably tell I wasn't impressed.

What makes you Bastardly?

I'm always loving to critique people. I do it in person, online, everywhere. If I don't like something about someone's looks I'll tell em. So I thought I'd let the shoe be on the other foot for a change, you all have my permission to be brutally honest (not that you needed it anyway).

*Are you a Bastardly Lady of the Day? If you too would like to be considered to be a Bastardly Lady of the Day feel free to send hot pictures to bastardly.com@gmail.com. Please note that you will be subject to the gauntlet of our loyal readers and we won't be so nice as to actually “take down” pictures. Cheers!

Comment on this Bastardly entry »

49 Scandalous Comments

The pics on 2 and 4 arent too bad... the rest are meh...
Very nice eyes though.

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 8:30pm
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Wow, this chick is just really plain!

Huge nose, messed up eyebrows, bad bone structure, etc. At least she seems down-to-earth!

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 8:35pm
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All of her friends seem to have f-ed up eyebrows too though... must be peer pressure.

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 8:46pm
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Whe`ve gone from bad to worst-est....

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 8:49pm
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That first pic looks like someone ran over a elderly librarian with their car. And what's with all the up-nostril shots? You and your friends need to get your eyebrows professionally done, put away your Lady Bic, it's not subtle enough. And outlining your eyes with black magic marker just makes them look like pinholes and makes your giant noses look even more bulbous. Some lipstick wouldn't hurt, either, your lips blend in with the rest of your face.

PS Those 'pouty' looks you guys are trying to give just make you look stupid. Nothing sexy about a single one of your pics.

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 9:02pm
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Oh my god, are you unattractive! (To me, at least)

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 9:15pm
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I wonder how much she has to pay for sex?
If I were a man whore I'd need at least $500 to touch this deal.

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 9:33pm
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That is so disgusting it's not even funny.

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 9:36pm
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i'm almost always a sucker for cute girls with glasses (you got me there)...it went downhill fast (damn near to hell i think)...if you rearrange all the facial features on page 5...you might have something remotely close to cute...

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 10:02pm
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Who's the sista in the first pic? Shout at her for me.

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 11:00pm
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I'm confused. In some pictures, you look like my mum's best mate, who is 48 years old, by the way.

In other pics, it would appear you have no eyebrows.

And in some pics, I can see parts of your interior nostril, parts that I should only see if I am performing septoplasty on you.

All in all, I'd say pass. You have potential. You just do yourself no favors with your choice of eyebrow shape, make-up, hairstyle.

And of course, the pouty face *sigh*. That damn pouty face. When I attended university, I gave swim lessons to developmentally challenged children, and I swear I see their faces everytime someone makes that pouty face. In other words, (and this goes out to all potential BLOTD's) you look "slow" when you do the pouty face.

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 11:32pm
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YOUR NOSE IS LIKE THE TITANIC!!! WITHOUT THE COOL MOVIE

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 12:22am
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Too..much... makeup. Leave that white powder alone honey.

And the brows, stop it with the over tweezing.

Beautiful eyes though.

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 12:24am
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you're not too bad, but you were asking for it with the pouty shots...also, i couldn't pick you out in all the pics---you seem to morph a bit...anyway, kudos for trying (black chick is really cute, however)

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 12:34am
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Nice eyes.....The first two pictures make you look like your 20 going on 45 though.
Your friend on page 4 is really cute.....
AlsoThe girl with nose ring......It seems like someone has a string attached to it and is pulling it from above.

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 1:17am
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mmm..i used to think all "jessicas"were foxy.(alba,simpson,biel) are you sure this chick ain't named"helga" or something?

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 8:24am
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I like the guy in the last picture so nonchalantly giving her zombie bunny ears. He looks fun.

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 8:29am
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ya your make-up sucks i dont think your hot at all and when doing blow plz dont take any pictures with your ugly green monster looking friend .god damn look at the size of your pupils hunny .does anyone else notice that this bitch is a totally cocaine sniffing cunt?look at the last 2 pictures .go do more lines and dont post again plz

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 9:47am
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You look like a fucking tranny! Btw, I kinda like the girl on pic nr4.

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 11:21am
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SIQ, D00D.

Go back to Myspace.

You have a man face.

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 12:22pm
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Her friend is married to Shrek.

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 2:00pm
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quite manly, and I agree you need to get your eyebrows done professionally! It only costs 14 bucks you know

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 5:39pm
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Pretty eyes!!! :)

Bad, unflattering poses!!! :(

-X

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 6:43pm
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where do you come from Jessica? Nose City?
& another thing you got wrong, you're supposed to send in pics with friends that make you look good -apart from the rocky horror show material, there's one sista that shows you up for the horse faced tranny that you are
and btw no fucking excuses about not sending in any decent photos, thats fucking pathetic...
(hello dibbie -still waiting for you to send in some pictures of your fat ass)

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 7:36pm
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whatever happened to the bastardly fluffer that is hotlips?
It will never last with your boyfriend princess -how about a rather large hampton -you know you want to....

Saturday, March 10th, 2007 @ 7:49pm
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YUCK. Those eyebrows look like complete ASS, and even her friends aren't worth fucking. Her nose looks like a baked potato.

Sunday, March 11th, 2007 @ 3:32pm
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Typical.white.trash.chick. She should skip the boobjob and get that nose done lay off the Mac and stop the damn tweezin!!!! mmmh on second thought she looks like a shaver.

Sunday, March 11th, 2007 @ 5:08pm
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very tranny-ish. that forehead seems to go on for miles... and dont get me started on the eyebrows.

Monday, March 12th, 2007 @ 3:36am
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Page 2.. Very "Pirates of the Carribean" .. You look like Captain Jack Sparrow but with Davey Jones's nose.

FUG!

Monday, March 12th, 2007 @ 8:23am
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She should just take a giant eraser to that face and start over. It's like a Mr. Potato Head gone wrong.....

Monday, March 12th, 2007 @ 9:43am
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Too much white powder. That second picture with that deep neckline has to be the worst picture out of the lot. You do not have the boobs to carry a dress like that. It kinda reminds me of Ciara. At least you are considering a boob job.
Some messed up eye brows there. Can do with a pro sorting them out for ya!
Not a bad looking girl just need some help!

Monday, March 12th, 2007 @ 10:23am
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NO WAY!!! She looks like a fucking transsexual in the second pic.

Monday, March 12th, 2007 @ 2:21pm
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Typical cheap ho make-up. Fix that and your eyebrows and it'll be neat.

Monday, March 12th, 2007 @ 5:01pm
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Ok, I'm not going to say she's ugly, I don't think she is, but the eyebrows...

OMG! Please, I can't stand looking at all those eyebrow massacres going on in all your pics.

Please, don't take it in a bad way. We girls sometimes mess up our eyebrows, but we have to let them grow out. Let those grow back in a bit, and then reshape, or have someone reshape them. Go for a natural look, a real arch, not something that looks like [

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 @ 3:29am
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Fugly , boring, and whorish. So sad to keep seeing the ones that got the shit beat out of them with the ugly stick.

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 @ 4:33am
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the girl on the left in the first pic on page 5 is really beautiful.

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 @ 1:02pm
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You aren't ugly--you've just made some poor choices with hair and makeup. I think highlights might look good--nothing too drastic. Skip the foundation and ease up on the eyeliner.

Tuesday, March 13th, 2007 @ 1:46pm
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Not ugly, not a face for a professional model either (the nose, yes) I'd go out with you.

As others said already, go to a professional to find a makeup combination that works for you, those eyebrows are a no-no, the hair on pages 4-5-6 it's not bad, it's the makeup and eyebrows that ruin the image.

Breasts... average firm breasts are better than big hanging ones, at least for my taste.

Good points: In some pictures the eyes (not the eyebrows) look nice, I like the hands also... and that booty of course.

If you come back to retry after changing something, please get rid of whale on pages 5-6, she might be your best friend, but she's not the chubby-cute type.

Modi

Thursday, March 22nd, 2007 @ 1:42pm
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You can look good, if you'd just change those eyebrows and the makeup (especially the one in pic 2). You're not ugly, you have 1 or 2 pics that are not bad here. But seriously changing the eyebrows is VERY IMPORTANT. It'll make a huge difference.

Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007 @ 6:55pm
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well she's not hideous,but i don't find her attractive.

Well,actually her eyes are gorgeous.

the eyebrows are WAY over-tweazed.she has too big of a nose for my liking.

The make-up isn't flattering,I'd recommend a different foundation or power.

Friday, June 1st, 2007 @ 7:05am
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Ugh.

Wednesday, June 6th, 2007 @ 12:08am
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You're aging quickly dear. Your friend is pretty.

Tuesday, July 17th, 2007 @ 6:40pm
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Change your eyebrows! I beg you, you'd be so much prettier. And less makeup. Learn how to apply it and use less. I swear, you can look good if you do those two things.

Saturday, November 24th, 2007 @ 1:33am
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Hey, leave her eyebrows alone.
Looks like Sandra Nasic, that's why i'm so protective.

Monday, November 26th, 2007 @ 3:46am
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Please stop wasting our time, Jessica. Come out of the closet and admit you're a bull dyke now. It'll save us some time.

I'd suggest shaving your head to begin with, and wearing wife-beaters and baggy trousers. Then hit up a local lesbo watering hole and embrace your new lifestyle with the "big boned" girls.

Wednesday, December 19th, 2007 @ 12:33pm
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How can you let those photos see the light of the day merciless bastards?!

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 9:37pm
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Bow wow wow wow wow...

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 11:01pm
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I think she's cute. Thanks for the nice ass shot, too. Girl, you are born to wear jeans.

Friday, March 9th, 2007 @ 11:38pm
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very bad eye brows

Friday, October 3rd, 2008 @ 2:56pm
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