Natalie Portman Doing Nathan Rothschild: Who is the Real Winner?



We will now proceed to make obscene assumptions in an attempt to see who really has the upper hand in this billion dollar sexual merger. My new goal in life now is to be part of a billion dollar sexual merger. May God have mercy on us all.

Natalie Portman:

She's already pretty rich, but her Jewish roots for more money & power have obviously kicked in. She could be sleeping w/ pretty much anyone, but she chooses to suck on the billion dollar lollipop. Why? B/c what's the point of fooling around w/ annoying millionaires when there's a billionaire who wants to enter her Bastardly Tunnel of Love? Can you really blame her? I just figured she'd be dating some no-name hobo who's maybe a passionate artist of some sort than a Rothschild, but more power to Nats!

vs.

Nathan Rothschild:

He's already filthy rich & is probably used to getting anything & everything under the sun---from the most scrumptious ass to the finest grass! W/ money comes power & with power comes the right to sleep w/ any woman on the face of this planet b/c let's admit it, 9/10 women (discounting for the feminists) will sleep w/ money & power if the penis is presented in such a fashion that doesn't appear to be blatantly buying them out & making them feel like some cheap whore. Sometimes, even if it does make them feel like a cheap whore, they'll still go through w/ the transaction (Nats, of course, doesn't fall into this category).

The Bastardly Conclusion:
Nathan Rothschild wins on all counts. He doesn't have to be w/ Natalie Portman, but he chooses to be w/ her. I'm pretty sure he's just a big Star Wars fan who wants to nibble on Pricess Amidala's long, juicy nipples. All we can do is stand on the sidelines & hope Nathan can succeed in getting Nats drunk off her ass & into a crazy sex tape. Amen.

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29 Scandalous Comments

Boring...Apart, she looks prettier than normal

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 8:56am

The fact that you said she is dating someone for the money is cause by her religious is disgusting. Thats a stupid derogitory comment and you should be ashamed. You pompus pig. How dare you insult a whole religion. You own everyone an apology. You asshole.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 9:22am

damn, shes 20-something going on 40 something............ i dont like these lady shots. similiar resemblance to debra Lynn Messing (grace from will & grace)

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 9:31am

Janie, there's nothing wrong & disgusting about it.

Are you jewish or something?

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 9:50am

Natalie Portman is looking really delicious in these pictures. Yes.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 9:56am

If I were God, religion would be illegal. Religion is disgusting. There have been more wars, more suffering, more murder, outrage, and destruction in the name of religion than under any other banner in this God-forsaken world. I would gladly insult your whole religion and your spelling ability Janie.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 11:06am

oh man, loved this post. It got enought power to make me drill and laught in my last work hour of the week. juicy.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 11:38am

indignation is funny

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 11:39am

She's got nice toes, too bad they are hidden in most of the photos.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 1:32pm

Fuckley, fuck off. Many wars have been fought to protect FREEDOM OF religion, and the freedom for you to be an atheist asshole. Learn history. Your statement is simplistic and ignorant. I'd mop the floor with you if I had the time and desire to debate your sorry ass.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 1:40pm

here we go .............

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 1:49pm

Nah, I'm not going there. Never argue with a drunk or an atheist.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 1:55pm

ahha.. smart call, Lana.

I've failed miserably on both counts.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 3:25pm

good move LANA

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 3:34pm

OK, ignoramus, I never said I was an Athiest. I said if I were God, which implies I believe in God. It is religion I have a problem with. It is the "opiate of the masses", and is used to manipulate and blind people. It is also a get out of sin free card, and allows all types of abberant behavior to be excused by claiming to confess or be born again. This is not a treatise against Christianity, but ALL religions that misguide and destroy the psyche of billions. Which wars were fought to protect the freedom of religion? If you say the Revolutionary War, then why does the Christian Right want to turn this country into a Theocracy, against what our Founding Fathers, most of whom were Deists like me, believed in, fought for, and died for? So there. Nahnahnahnahbooboo.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 4:27pm

I don't think Moe ever mentioned a religion.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 9:21pm

Typical Hollywood heeb. It's always about the money for these types. She wouldn't be dating him if he was working a regular mid income job.

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 9:47pm

I want to LICK her CORNHOLE

and suck her toes

Saturday, October 14th, 2006 @ 10:20am

Ok so I'll skip talking about her dating someone for his money, cause all celebs do that or have done that to get to where they are.
She's gorgeous, but I don't like lady photoshoots either. The red lipstick is also something I don't like much. She's young and fresh and that makeup makes her look older. (looks nothing like Debra Messing ,tough)

Saturday, October 14th, 2006 @ 10:55am

She looks good in the pics. I'd do her.

Saturday, October 14th, 2006 @ 1:30pm

She's my dream gal. 10 out of 10 in my book.

Saturday, October 14th, 2006 @ 6:43pm

The winner in any contest with Natalie is the man who gets to be with Natalie. She is the most talented and beautiful woman I have ever seen.

Saturday, October 14th, 2006 @ 9:06pm

not her best pics. although still fuckable to the max.

Saturday, October 14th, 2006 @ 9:13pm

fuckley for prez

Sunday, October 15th, 2006 @ 12:51am

More information on Nathan Rothschild please. Does he just jet around the world spending money or does he contribute to society in some meaningful way?

Sunday, October 22nd, 2006 @ 9:01pm

Well- Duh! They're both Jews! While they are liberal and they'll tell us to all to marry interracially, that Christianity is for wackos, and that anything goes- their religion is sacred and they'll probably never marry a gentile.

Tuesday, December 11th, 2007 @ 6:33pm

your pretty inspired today word wise,moe. good gig !!! :)

Friday, October 13th, 2006 @ 8:57am

P.S. Compare. She should look as good as this one does in 40 years.

http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f213/NataliaL/SophiaLoren7.jpg

Sunday, October 22nd, 2006 @ 9:11pm

natalie portman email nathershlag81@com

Thursday, July 17th, 2008 @ 6:01am

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