Bastardly Lady of the Day - Lambchop



Lambchop writes:

Apparently, my rack is astounding.


My name is Lambchop, and I'm an 18-year-old writer living in Manhattan -- a city that provides me with all sorts of opportunities to work towards ultimate self-destruction. Among other things, I enjoy regular displays of greed, sloth, lust and envy (avarice, anger and pride died in '96).


Do you like your boobs?

I'd like them more if they weren't two fleshy orbs of ceaseless male oppression.

Would you sleep with a dude the age of your grandpa for $3,000,000?
A solid three million in NYC could potentially afford me a 400 square-foot studio apartment with running water and a corner to piss in. Fuck yeah!

Have people (guys) ever said you look like a particular celebrity (...to try get in your pants)?

People tell me I look like that swan-suited yeti, Bjork, on a daily basis. Needless to say, it has yet to work towards their advantage.

What makes you Bastardly?

You mean besides the vulgarity, promiscuity, alcoholism and rampant drug abuse? Oh, I don't know, my charm?

*If you too would like to be considered to be a Bastardly Lady of the Day feel free to send hot pictures to bastardly.com@gmail.com. Please note that you will be subject to the gauntlet of our loyal readers and we won't be so nice as to actually "take down" pictures. Cheers!

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99 Scandalous Comments

Geezerbird???

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:04am

wow. i am in love.
i like her REAL eyebrows... need to see more boobie though.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:11am

definitely bjork lookalike. with a hint of some mixed or asian celeb. can't quite put my finger on who though. not ugly. there isn't really a good word to describe how she looks. it's like the grown up equivalent of cute. not attractive, but too feminine to be handsome.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:15am

she sounds like an angry cynical bitch
i like her
the bjork/yeti comment was fucking hysterical
original and demented

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:27am

What the hell is going on in the 1st picture on page 2? Is she messing with some guys pene or is that a chick? I see nylons. Needless to say If I was to look up and see that face staring back at me...I'd tighten up.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:35am

awesome answers....cute.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:40am

She looks like Jaime Pressley. Now thats a hot bitch. This one is lame. "look at me everyone, i'm troubled, i'm unique, i live in NYC so i'm hip too. Yay for me I do drugs!"

I suggest cutting your wrists vertically, not horizontally, next time you emo wanker. Don't get me wrong, i'd still hate fuck her, hoping she wouldn't have a pulse after. Nobody wants a pale, no tit, no ass, loud, vulgar, he-bitch in combat boots. Well, except maybe a little emo boy with too much estrogen in his body.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:43am

im so fricken annoyed by her and i dont even know her

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:47am

Mr Chicken Man likes.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:50am

I love her just from her responses... THEY'RE GREAT>>>> Ill repost after i look a the pictures.... ILL BE BACK!!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:13pm

TPATS 2 - I BET SHE IS A FREAK IN THE SHEETS> mmmmmm>>>

LAMBCHOP - can you confirm or deny this assumption for me... Oh yeah, and if you want to learn a thing or 3, you know how to find me...

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:15pm

No Ice: her tranny boyfriend is wearing stockings...

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:23pm

Lemure...... "hipster trust fund babies"..... lol, I wasn't a Real New Yorker, I was vacationing up there, staying with a friend whose parents were loaded, for lack of a better word.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:24pm

I have to say that these are the wittiest answers I've ever read. By far the most creative. Her tone is dripping with sarcasm; I love it.

I could find it tiresome after a while if you had to deal with that attitude day in and day out.

At least it's refresing for now! ;)

She looks prettier than Bjork.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:32pm

TPATS: 1

God, another poor showing for a Friday. Feature Request: Can you next week switch what you had Thursday with your Friday if it aligns up well for you?

Feminist oppression argument is so before you were born porkchop. Get current, use your vagina as currency (note the 3mil question). I doubt you can get 3mil, but you might be able to be fed free from time to time by a similar desperate goth junkie.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:39pm

I like the anal beads again, nice touch, also she's wearing a chicken on her head which shows her playful side, and to top it off she's super flexiable last pic, so we can play my favorite game of sit-and-spin!! Thanks Lambchop!! I'd bang the piss out of you!! Have a great weekend everyone!!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:54pm

yawnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:57pm

I like her comments and personality. She's allright in my book. I'd chill with her.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 1:00pm

I like her answers. She does look like Bjork. And she does look like she's on drugs.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 1:17pm

LAMBCHOP IS HER ACTUAL NAME ? WTF?!?!?!?!?

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 1:25pm

she looks like a monkey with those eyebrows.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 1:53pm

Yah......Okay *I* am an asshole????????? WTF??? What did I do? That was so random! Quit having a crush on me because you know I would never go to any LAN party with you. :P

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 2:20pm

I know who she looks like!!!! That guy from Nip/Tuck....... (reference for people who have actually seen that show only) you know.... the son...... whats-his-face who tried to do his own circumsision................ she looks like him.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 2:26pm

she seems more friend material than fuck material.

but she'd probably look really pretty with light blonde hair. a lot better actually.
cause she kind of looks like jamie king, not jamie pressly, to whoever said that earlier. at least in that first pic. so if she colored her hair blonde she'd look more like her.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 2:43pm

I bet she's got a really hairy pussy.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 2:51pm

If Christina Ricci had an asian father, and a penchant for debauchery this might be her. At least that's what I got from the beads pic.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 2:57pm

skinny... very heroin chic...

fuckin funny too.

but the "NY hipster" vibe killed it for me, tho. kudos to lemure... im from NYC too. and all the emo-ness in these trust fund kids fuckin pisses me off (too).

all in all, not bad. looks ok enough not to be brownbagged... needs some boobies and ass...

go ask daddy for a new pair of boobies for your next birthday :)

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 3:28pm

2nd group first pic! What the hell is she doing?! And yes she has to do something with the eyebrows and very soon!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 3:50pm

She reminds me of Kit DeLuca, the whorelet best friend to Her Horsiness Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman". She's definitely cute, a refreshing departure from the ghettofabulous whorinas that are the typical BLOTD fare. She'd be a lot more attractive if she'd drop the cooler-than-thou act.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 3:59pm

I would like her if it weren't for the drugs comment, I just can't like people who do heavy drugs. Period.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 4:20pm

"I’d like them more if they weren’t two fleshy orbs of ceaseless male oppression."

LOL, who is she Rosa Parks reincarnated, what does she know of oppression? Your breast are for giving milk to your young, it's not our fault they also feel so smooth against our cheeks and the nipple begs to be teased with our tongues.

She's fuckable, and she may like women, you get bonus points for that. Even if she is faking it with her hand in that woman's pants, you would still get kudos for trying.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 4:44pm

I think she's really cute and she's gonna be even more of a knockout when she's older.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 5:14pm

yes once again i love the answers and the pics. *swoon* :)

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 5:33pm

Like the answers, like the face...alittle ricci-ish minus the fucking enormous tits that could possibly suffocate me. All and all shes pretty fucking hot and doesn't seem like an airhead so i'm all thumbs (and other things) up!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 6:03pm

LOL Moss!----
I just get pissed when people when they make fun of small boobies. (I am a 34 B myself)
LAN Party....whered u get that from? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The clostest thing I have to anything like a lan party is my husband and his Xbox360 live crap. =op

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 6:21pm

wow. i love you. can i come to manhattan? cheers...
(fixated on orbs of male obsession. have not blinked for 20 minutes...)

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 6:54pm

Cute but where are the ass and boobie shots?

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 9:18pm

eyebrows have great shape, but need definition (tweezers) and add some eye makeup--she'd be really pretty. she also looks like she would annoy the hell out of me

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 9:41pm

trying too hard..not cute...definately looks like bjork though..

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 9:59pm

Lisa Bonet + Bjork = this girl

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 10:35pm

Wow, Porkchop, you're awesome. In a real dark brooding genuine artsy way. Wow. You're like the real Beefroast or something.

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP.

Don't like yer life, sister? Don't live. Okay? Okay.

NEXT!

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 12:21am

hello peoples! what up!

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 12:58am

hmm...i am intrigued...*raised eyebrows*

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 2:36am

She's very beautiful, what a well defined face.. such a cutie!!!

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 4:50am

She sounds like a psychotic hipster bitch...I think I'm in Love

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 10:08am

THe last pic on page 3 is hot. Shes cute.

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 10:43am

Lexa, youre barking up at the wrong tree.

I live in NYC, & real New Yorkers, as lemure said, cannot afford to live in the city cuz of trust fund kids (ie. Porkchop), who's ultimate dream is to self destruct as early as fuckin possible.

Me? Jealous? Ok, I wont even comment on that one.

Do I see things in her that i hate in myself? Funny, I know IM not perfect, but why hate? Im happy with the way I am.

This is Bastardly, dear, if your looking for wholesome "oh youre so pretty" comments, then u can find it in other sites. we arent called bastardly for nothing :)

PS - emo kids piss the shit out of me. drama fuck so early in life? jeez theyre not even working yet. wasting money that mommy and daddy earned so hard to give them a good life.... yeah, they deserve soooo much respect *rolls eyes*

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 1:51pm

you, madam, are a cunt-ah! but the world does need more chicken hats

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 1:52pm

I couldn't put up with her bullshit.

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 2:50pm

75. Don't tsk tsk me, Lexa, you fucktard. The grown ups are talking... SHOO!

77. Someone - I love you.

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 10:53pm

She scares the sheeyot...out of me...Miss Murder is what they call you.

Sunday, June 25th, 2006 @ 12:02am

The last pick kinda reminds me of Jacko (circa 2005)

Sunday, June 25th, 2006 @ 3:58am

she looks like a james bond villian. nice sex face on page 2, though.

Sunday, June 25th, 2006 @ 4:26am

The chick looks like a fuckin dude in half the pics, and a half assed bjork look alike in the rest...*vomits* and for her thinking she has an awesome rack, i see the loser in the itty bitty titty committee "whos tits are the smallest" contest fer fucks sake....shes a total retard and needs to get a life and probably a job as well.......BLEH

Sunday, June 25th, 2006 @ 9:15am

me and her should be friends. i love how she answered the questions and i think she's beautiful.

Sunday, June 25th, 2006 @ 2:38pm

aww, it's nice to see a girl that doesn't look like some overtanned pussycat dolls wanna be. in my opinion that's the opposite of 'hot'. she's gorgeous and has a unique look.

Sunday, June 25th, 2006 @ 11:18pm

I like her. She's funny and cute. But she'd be so much more gorgeous without the eyebrows, they aren't Audrey Hepburn, they just over-power her face

Tuesday, June 27th, 2006 @ 2:34pm

For a mental retard, she's kinda cute...kinda!

Monday, July 10th, 2006 @ 7:15pm

What charm?

Thursday, July 27th, 2006 @ 3:49pm

shes pretty in a cute way, but she comes of as kind of arrogant in her comments

Wednesday, November 21st, 2007 @ 1:09am

it is appropriate that she has anal beads in her mouth since she is an assface.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:05am

and sweetheart please, for the love of god, do something with those eyebrows! im begging you!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:11am

You'd better hope you get the $3million offer so you can move out of that tenement with the shared bathroom down the hallway get some psychiatric help.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:15am

i too wondered at the lack of rack, astounding or otherwise. She needs to put calamine on those mosquito bites on her chest, and maybe take a picture of her dishrack from williams sonoma, their shit is really astounding

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:28am

i fucking love her. the cynical comments- A++++. the eyebrows- sexyyy.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:37am

She is my soulmate. I love her. . . and her eyebrows.
at least she's honest.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:40am

She looks like Jaime Pressley. Now thats a hot bitch. This one is lame. “look at me everyone, i’m troubled, i’m unique, i live in NYC so i’m hip too. Yay for me I do drugs!”

I suggest cutting your wrists vertically, not horizontally, next time you emo wanker. Don’t get me wrong, i’d still hate fuck her, hoping she wouldn’t have a pulse after. Nobody wants a pale, no tit, no ass, loud, vulgar, he-bitch in combat boots. Well, except maybe a little emo boy with too much estrogen in his body.

How does doing drugs make you emo?
Fag.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:52am

OH YEAH - ANd page 2, first picture, IS her hand down a chicks pants??

Lambchop, IS YOUR HAND DOWN A CHICKS PANTS???

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:17pm

For some reason I dig this chick. In one of those pictures, she kinda had a Christina Ricci look to her, but I see Bjork in her too. Pretty cute.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:25pm

I lover her answers. She is a clever girl which means she has a brain. I like that! I have to agree that she does remind me of Bjork only she didn't have any really goofy outfits on like that ugly bitch so she gets points for that. I like her. Overall...I'd do her! I give her an 8 on a scale of 1-10 (10 being best) mostly because her answers made me laugh and she's not ugly nor is she a sheep!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:38pm

Moss u are an asshole.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 1:01pm

you think she has a myspace?

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 1:27pm

I like this one!! She is cute and pretty! I love her answers. Finally, someone who is different!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 5:15pm

Like they say in AA, the faults we see in others are really the things we dislike about ourselves. all you guys who are dissing her and making lame witty remarks about her ''emo-ness'' are obviously jealous in some weird way. maybe you like alcohol and drugs a little too much also, and are ashamed! TSK TSK. theres nothing wrong with drinking for emotional reasons in my opinion ;P

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 2:50am

NV -- I know exactly what you're talking about! The androgynous son that has a "vague" resemblance to Michael Jackson. The eyebrows, cheekbones, skin color, nose, lips, and stoner look add to it all. Overall, I don't find her terribly attractive, but not ugly. She seems like your quintessential artsy chick with a touch of emo and a sardonic, oh-so-witty charm that puts me off because it seems laced with pseudo-intellectual bullshit. She also seems shady, what with the "Oh, woe is I -- my breasts make me struggle with the lustful predators that is man" while she: 1) wears a halter top to emphasize her A - B cup breasts, 2) shows a cocktease pose with a shoe string stuck in her mouth for a disturbing pedophilliac (the obnoxious colors and innocent face) oral fixation, paired with a shot aimed just above the goods to hint that she's naked 3) kneeling over a girl (?) to show her experimentation and enchance her cleavage and 4) the sell-out yet diplomatic $3 million answer - she'll word it in a verbose way to earn intellectual points, yet appease the horndog community by giving up nookie for the cash.

Oh, yeah, and I also adore her because she's wearing a chicken hat because pultry as fashion is so LOL! funny by default. If she is genuine, then she probably is a schitzo with tons of skeletons in her closet along with multiple personalities, or she just pretends to be crazy to get some popularity points from the acid-tripping hobos hanging around in New York.

I have to hand it to her, though - the last picture is at least tolerable and doesn't scream, "PUNCH ME IN THE FACE!"

:) Props to her for that.

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 5:12am

I do not not tolerate any emo castrated faggotry panda soft vagina monologue reading childrens in my presense....they get backhanded from cooper square to washington square park were my capos roll...i'm too shallow to engage in that kind of buggery....

I see em in campus trying to engage me in their psuedo intellectual fukk Bush kumbaya my lord discussions...I avoid Lamchop type broads like the plague...occasionally they might get the pipe though if i'm slumping.

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 2:54pm

First pic, 2nd page...who are you riding dirty? Yea I bet you have a myspace aswell. I'm so sick of the whole "My life sucks" emo shit. just grow the fuck up already! And get some sunlight....VAMPIRE!

Sunday, June 25th, 2006 @ 12:10am

what are these stupid comments about anal beads? it's obviously a part of her tube top that she wears on the first pic...

Sunday, June 25th, 2006 @ 2:51pm

Oh god, let me guess she's a sometimes model, that really wants to write, lives in the East Village or Williamsburg and dabbles in heroin. Spare me from all fucking hipster poseurs and emo wankers please!!!!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:07am

Not impressed....... I met better in Manhattan, but I was staying up near Lexington Avenue........ save the dark, somewhat troubled, struggling "artist" act......

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:12am

damn - and get some psychiatric help.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:16am

Stop the hating all you West Coast bitches, just cause she's not some sort of girlie you can pidgeon hole you don't have to get your panties in a knot. Ya know what, come to think of it, all y'all are morons if you haven't figured out that the BLOTDs are always chosen for the sake of diversity and being interesting so that perhaps the tunnel vision that 99.9% of this world can widen their perception, chew on that one for a sec you ignoramouses!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:29am

Such a hipster. Not usually my style. But I gotta give the girl points for her answers. Excellently written and witty--is this Bjork lookalike the next Oscar Wilde? And hey--a BLOTD who can spell!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:38am

looks kinda hot in the 1st pic 2nd page.
not really seeing these "fleshy orbs" that she talks about.
she sounds a little nutso...i like it.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:40am

Kim where do you get West Coast from?!! Real New Yorkers hate this kind of bullsh "Im so hip and cool" talk. Real New Yorkers also can't afford to live in Manhattan because of hipster trust fund babies who think its cool to pay 2300 to live in studios that were once TB infested tenements and dope shooting galleries!

I'm from New York (Brooklyn raised, Lower East Side is where I like to chillax) and I'm annoyed!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:53am

wow. all i can say is wow.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:18pm

What the heck, you have issues. Let me guess, you cut yourself too b/c you like to feel pain?

GET SOME PROFESSIONAL HELP. You're trying to hard to be rebellious. Grow up. Get a real job.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 1:34pm

And I thought I had issues...

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:08am

she needs to mow the brows

and i saw no evidence of any boobage.

attention whore.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:16am

she seems awfully tortured for someone named 'lambchop'......sheesh

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:30am

Whoa, whoa #16 Kim direct your hate towards them Farkfuckers not to the Bastards. Is it PMS day?
As for Lambchop (can't help but think of Shari Lewis...This is the song that never ends...)she sounds a little whacked, and it's hard to like someone that thinks tits are "two fleshy orbs of ceaseless male oppression". She is cute & seems to have a good sense of humor.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:56am

Where is the astounding rack????? Ahh - the heroine must've kicked in as she was writing.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:18am

chick needs some sun. She should go to California where she would have more opp. to work. McDonlads, Burger King, Taco Bell, the options are endless.

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:56am

#2 bada bing..

LOL, that was a good one

are those really anal beads?

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 11:22am

i like her look....don't like her posing.....i like her answers....to some extent....i like her ass....i can't see any tits......i like her face.....though in some pics it's 'not another asian'......i like that she likes anal beads....i don't like them in her mouth......I am conflicted and feel as if I'm in a glass case of emotion......

she's alright.........maybe a little gamey tasting....

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:02pm

She should have just posted her pics and left blanks on the questions. The answers totally put me off. It sounds like her older sister helped her write them.
Her bid to be a unique soul has made her totally boring!!

Friday, June 23rd, 2006 @ 12:08pm

I dig it man. She really does look like Bjork knock off. I'll tell you what one man's fun bags is another man's (two fleshy orbs of ceaseless male oppression). Just let me know when you get around to lust.

Tuesday, June 10th, 2008 @ 3:33pm

The next time any of you venture out of The Bastardly, Google "The Daily Siege." Your guesses about Lambchop's "story" are all pretty much, um, wrong. More history behind those dark eyes than you'd think.

Thursday, June 12th, 2008 @ 4:50pm

ordinary. you can keep her

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008 @ 1:44am

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