Jessica Alba vs. Eva Longoria - The Bastardly Ass Off! Ow!



Jackson recently did a matchup between two women & the excessively huge asses. When you look @ that post, you either get turned on or you puke all over your keyboard. There is no middle ground.

Today, we're gonna cater to those of you who don't have a huge ass fetish. Yes my friends, this match is between two women w/ conservative size asses. Of course, I'm talking about J. Alba & E. Longoria.

I'm sure both women know how to use their asses since one was previously a Hollywood whore (J. Alba) and another is currently in her whoring prime (E. Longwhoria).

Ding-Ding-Ding-Ding! Let the Ass Off begin!!!

Read the rest of this Bastardly entry »

71 Scandalous Comments

Nice pad sticking out from Eva's bottoms! haha And who bends over like that Jessica? Do your knees not bend?

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 12:34pm

Holy hell is that pubic hair hanging out of Eva's swimsuit in the first picture?

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 12:43pm

Jessica wins...no doubt about it.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 1:12pm

Eva looks like a fuckin mummy. She has a severe case of noassatall. It's truly sad when
Jessica FUCKING Alba- who can't weigh more than 85 pounds soaking wet-has more curves than you. Ms. Alba wins as fas as face and body are concerned.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 1:28pm

Jessica has the better looking ass.
But Longwhoria is the one I'd like to hear scream in agony as I ram it up the pooper.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 2:03pm

I'm all for Jessica. She has a much shapelier behind.

This is much better than that last ass-off, by the way. Jesus, that was frightening.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 2:08pm

Alba ass is way tighter and better defined than Eva ass. No contest.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 2:21pm

Albas has a nice place to chop on. That picture of her in the water... it sends shivers down my spine and im straight. I wanna bite it! Jessica all the way.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 2:35pm

How am I the only person who's going to point out the panty liner sticking out from Eva's swimsuit?!

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 2:51pm

rocker, I see it :)

and I agree about Eva having Noassatall syndrome

also, bikini wedgies might look hot and all, but they don't feel very good, as seen in the pic where J. Alba is remedying hers by way of sticking her hand down her ass.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 3:03pm

Alba has the better booty, no question

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 3:37pm

less filling

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 3:41pm

I don't see any asses. I believe those are pelvic bones covered with skin. Gimme some Buffie.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 4:15pm

Please stop making an ASS of yourself. Just ASS anyone & they will tell you AlbaASS is
ASS nice an ASS you will see anywhere. I don't know what all the brothers see in Eva
Long-whoreia,ASS far ASS I can see she got noassatall. Ass far ASS titties & face Alba is sexier than EvaASS.(.) (!) sorry

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 4:24pm

Each woman has reason to be proud about the state of her heinie. It is obvious that Ms. Alba is much more in touch with her's, and presents it to her adoring fans much more prominantly. I would welcome seeing more of either woman's bootay.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 4:31pm

Mark, I think eva just has a boo, there's not enough for the extra two letters.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 6:12pm

They are both beautiful, I would have to give a slight edge to Jessica however. Beautiful faces & bodies. (Are you listening Lisa s) We do admit when women are fine, you are just NOT, get over it.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 6:33pm

Alba all day long. It's so round! I love the pic of her picking the sand out!

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 7:02pm

Both are very pretty, but Alba wins!

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 7:27pm

Jessica wins by a landslide.

even thought i dont like her face.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 8:10pm

Jessica by a landside.

Eva's hands are creepy

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 9:04pm

tastes great

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 9:25pm

lilyspryte---

"rocker, I see it :)

and I agree about Eva having Noassatall syndrome

also, bikini wedgies might look hot and all, but they don’t feel very good, as seen in the pic where J. Alba is remedying hers by way of sticking her hand down her ass." YOU SAID IT LIL SPRYTE!!!!!
EVA WINS, PLEASE GET OFF THE FUCKIN SLOBBA TUNA CAN!!!!! I CANT STAND IT, SOMEONE HOLD HER UNDERWATER UNTIL SHE DIES, PLEASE. EVA, I WANT YOU!!!!

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 10:00pm

eva gots less ass, better for slammin' and not all night jammin'. ms. alba's got a great thicker ass and body. plus, eva's nose looks like its plugged and full of snot (or jizz) all the time...look at it.

Friday, April 21st, 2006 @ 12:02am

hahhahah Lemur whats up
dude jessica has a fucking banging asss
i tap athtat anyday
fuck that shits fucking so nice
her assss is fucking like a buble
oh fuck
she is one fine bitch

Friday, April 21st, 2006 @ 5:22am

Jessica wins by an ass-slide.

Eva's cute but her booty aint got nothing on Alba... although if they rubbed them together I'd make all their wishes come true.

Friday, April 21st, 2006 @ 8:28am

Is this even a match. JESSICA BY FAR. EVA, who I would pay for if I had the chance, but still she is not in ALBA's league. Jessica I would pay 2 times for

NOTE to the people who put all of the pics on the site.......THANK YOU THANK YOU very much......I rubbed one out to them, Thank You

Friday, April 21st, 2006 @ 5:50pm

Abla's Ass is Best! Eva has no ASS! Longoria has a MAN-ASS. Jessica has a better face than eva's.

Friday, April 21st, 2006 @ 7:26pm

I meant Alba's, anyway, Buffie has a Hippo's ASS , I'm an Ass Man, but that broad has another 6 peoples' asses. Plus Buffie has A Flavor Flav Face and no Tits. Alba has it all, Face,BUTT, CHEST, & LIPS . She's Latin, we all know Latinas(both tits & ass) have better bodies than white(only tits) or black(only ass) women. Nuff Said.

Friday, April 21st, 2006 @ 7:34pm

Brazilian women are the most beautiful, I say.

Back to subject, NOW THAT IS WHAT I CALL HEALTHY LOOKING WOMEN!! I think both their bodies look great , not too thin, not too fat. Perfect. You know they eat well, but you know they're no Buffy and they won't swallow you up with their asses. Both good looking, but I'll have to go with miss Alba. Her ass is her best feauture (and she obviously knows it). I agree that this is a much better match-up then the last one.

PS..are you sure that's a pad sticking out of Eva's bathing suit? Maybe it's just the interior of it, it's usually a different color. But who knows with Eva.

Friday, April 21st, 2006 @ 9:28pm

EVA HAS THE BEST AND SO DOES ANNA KOURNIKOVA!!!! GET OFF THE SLOBBA WAGON!!!

Sunday, April 23rd, 2006 @ 2:09pm

Jessicas ass is very nice from the back...but from the side its a little bit funny looking. Kinda scrunched down compacted silly bum. I want to call it a silly bum. But only from the side.

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006 @ 1:17pm

Definetly the first pic is the lining of the bathing suit. definetly. id bet money on it. And im surprised that no one mentioned the giant distracting mole on evas ass.

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006 @ 1:19pm

that's no mole.

that's an ass hickey

Wednesday, April 26th, 2006 @ 10:25pm

Y'all need to put Christina Millian on here... Anyways jessica has this one hands down!!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 23rd, 2006 @ 12:39pm

it's a tough choice... i'd have to say Alba though. she has a little bit better of a shape than Longoria. Eva's a much better actress though, so she's fine.

btw, here are the infamous Alba and Longoria Beach pics that have been circulating the web... they are super hot!

http://celebrityinc.blogspot.com/2006/05/alba-longoria-slutty-beach-slut...

Thursday, May 25th, 2006 @ 2:49pm

YOU PPLE ARE CRAZY. EVA WINS, SHE DONT HAVE HUGE UGLY FEET WITH CALLOUSES AND CRUSTY SOLES ON THEM!!! EVA HAS A BANGIN ASS!!!! SLOBBA'S IS COVERED WITH INGROWN HAIRS AND CELLULITE, STR8 UP!!!!
GET OVER THAT FAT CUNT, BIG FEET ON SLOBBA? BIG PUSSY ON SLOBBA TOO!!!! I BET YOU COULD FIT THAT ENTIRE LAWN CHAIR SHES PRESENTING ON INTO HER ASS AND THEN EVA COULD FIT TOO WITH ROOM FOR A FUCKING 56 INCH TV.
GET OVER THE OVERRATED TRASH PILE!!!!!
GIGGETY GIGGETY GOO, I AM VITO, AND SLOBBA WONT DO.

Thursday, May 25th, 2006 @ 2:58pm

I want to fuck Emma R-E hard.

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 8:44pm

Does Jessica Alba have a tAT?

Saturday, June 24th, 2006 @ 9:01pm

I'd kill for Jessica Alba's ass. Nothing wrong with Eva, just a bit of cellulite. Jessica is a shit actress and an average face but a great body. Perfect 10

Wednesday, June 28th, 2006 @ 6:26pm

Alba is gorgeous......eva longoria is gorgeous tooo......god they both gimme huge erections with their gorgeous backs.....buffie is disgusting

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006 @ 7:03pm

Jessica Alba has a much better ass... It's that simple. Just look at it?!

Tell me you do not want to lick Jessica Alba's asshole?

Saturday, July 8th, 2006 @ 11:09pm

Neither of these bitches have an ass. Little and overarated highknees.

Thursday, July 27th, 2006 @ 12:49am

umm 4th page, 1st pic..wtf is up with Eva's ass cheek?? does anyone else see that??

Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 @ 12:47am

Jessica Alba wins. No contest whatsoever.

Tuesday, October 3rd, 2006 @ 7:15am

only a black ghetto moron would talk shit about either one of these chicks. who cares about a big fat ass that will get fatter with each passing year.

Tuesday, December 26th, 2006 @ 7:12pm

nar the thing that looks like a pad is part of her (eva's) bathers.. mine to it as well.. real pain.. thought u might like to know.. not that anyone swims with a pad.. :S

Thursday, January 4th, 2007 @ 3:54am

I'll take both thanks.....hold the bikinis.

Friday, January 19th, 2007 @ 1:47pm

HATE ALBA?

YUP SAMEE

buh she does have a nice ass

i think eva has a betta ass styll

Friday, March 2nd, 2007 @ 1:34am

There is no Compatition, Jessica Win's it atomatically

Wednesday, April 4th, 2007 @ 7:28pm

Neither one of them wins! They're both skinny as hell! What the hell am I looking at here? I think skinny people should tone their asses more than fat people. Fat people already have ass for people to enjoy, skinny women need to give people some eye candy by toning it up.

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007 @ 12:23pm

I would love j-smooth she is the shit and ,I would eat Eva and J-smooth pussy so good all they would know is P-smooth, they are the shit. 'God is so good'. PS. I'm a Detroit nigga and life is good Get money.

Monday, July 9th, 2007 @ 8:13pm

YOOOO JESICA ALBA IS ONE OF DA SEXIEST AND CUTEST GIRLS ALIVE RITE NOWW.. AND PLUS SHE IS FUCKIN ITALIAN!!!! WHOOT WHOOT.. AND IM BLACK AND I LOVEE ITALIAN GIRLS.. JESSICA WINS NO QUESTIONS ASKED

Friday, July 20th, 2007 @ 3:10pm

fuck these assses there 2 small (vida has the best!! its perfect i dont care what any guy sayss

Thursday, August 2nd, 2007 @ 6:17pm

BUTT MOLE ON LONGWHOREIA!!!!11!!!

FOR THE LOSS!

Monday, October 1st, 2007 @ 9:09pm

Id plow both those asses as I smell the shitjuice from the farthole.

Tuesday, October 2nd, 2007 @ 4:07pm

They both look like fucking shit.

Sunday, October 14th, 2007 @ 1:27pm

I would clean jessica alba's ass out with my tongue for hours...i would just shove my face farther and farther into her ass and enjoy every lick

Thursday, October 25th, 2007 @ 10:56am

omg alba ass is the better 1 i mean dam she is so fine

Monday, November 12th, 2007 @ 8:23pm

Okay Jessica has the better butt but you have to consider that she intentionally shows it off in almost all her butt pics and eva's butt pics are casual.

So like a few other dudes said it's no contest Jessica all the way.

But in overall looks i guess their almost tied.

Monday, December 3rd, 2007 @ 5:29am

alba

Thursday, January 31st, 2008 @ 7:44pm

You have got to be joking. Have you seen jessica Alba's butt? There is no competition. Eva longoria is "TV sexy." No disrespect to the woman, I'm sure shes a great person, but when u her butt on TV or in movies, its posed to look good. Alba may poke it out a lot, but u can't fake that shit. Alba is the winner by a landslide

Thursday, February 28th, 2008 @ 12:00pm

I hate to choose favorites. Instead, I'll let them fight over me.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 12:43pm

How can you pick between two fine arse's. I would'nt mind an ass like that, would you? they are both beautiful, healthy, good looking woman.. so how could you pick?

talk again soon xx becky xx

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 1:15pm

WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT THESE SLAPPERS???? ONCE A HO ALLWAYS A HO.

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 7:06pm

Only a black ghetto moron would talk crap about 2 women that he couldn't get not in a million years.

Tuesday, December 26th, 2006 @ 7:15pm

Eva is obviously from Noassatall! Jessica has a cute pert booty, but I'm sure you can find some actual booty (for all you White and Asian people that like apple booty-Latinos and Blacks like cantaloupe booty) elsewhere. What about Stacy Keibler, she has a cute buttocks.

Please the Vida vs Buffie booty pics are so icky, I told you its about Ki-Toy!

Thursday, April 20th, 2006 @ 12:45pm

Fuck those asses, let me cum on those feet. Nothing is like letting my hot, sticky cum run down those latina soles!

Friday, March 21st, 2008 @ 5:56pm

Jessica Alba wins hands down. I would do everything imaginable to her rear end. She is so hot. I would pay a lot of money just to feel her ass.

Saturday, April 19th, 2008 @ 5:40pm

Alba wins, hands down.

Tuesday, May 20th, 2008 @ 10:28pm

Jessica Alba beats that mousy looking wetback with the big dent in her nose and cellulite on her ass Eva LongWHORIA.
alba wins hands down.

Thursday, July 10th, 2008 @ 4:20pm

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