God, I hope we get more than bloody 3 responses!!

Seriously. So I take it that bastardly writers are not allowed to enter the contest? Not that I need more T-shirts, I just think it would be fun.

Come on guys ... You read our site everyday ... humor us ... you'll get a FREESHIRT!!

And by the way ... people better be listening to sidewok radio today, cause I had a pretty good show Monday night. www.sidewok.com

dude, i don't know if I would write a lame essay to get a free shirt.

we gotta go back to the drawing board on this one.

how about leave a comment? first 3 commenters w/ the smoothest* comments.

*we will be the judge of the smoothness level

so have we got any enteries?

Does that mean if I enter I am guaranteed to win?

I was never told about the 3 week guarantee. Does the shirt still get the credit for it the deed if it's the same person someone has already been seeing?

I think I'd rather pay for a shirt than have to write an essay to get one. Come on...if the people who read this website were hard workers we wouldn't be on the internet leaving stupid comments all day and reading about Bai Ling now would we??!

come on people!!! you are are listeners!!! enter the goddamn contest. I say enter just to make us laugh. Enter to make us feel loved. Dammit just enter.

Hi guys, i just sent my contribution to you. It's a little longer than you wanted, but i hope that's no problem. Moe, i've been wanting to do a commentary on some of the bits and pieces of tolstoy you posted here, but i haven't really found the time yet. Why think about tolstoy when you can read about Paris, right? I hope i'll be able to set myself to it one of these weeks, Tolstoy's an interesting chap.

First, thank you for your contrib. Without reading your essay, I'm sure you will pull through as a winner, as well.

As for Tolz, I actually bought a short stories book this weekend for $3 at a local used bookstore! I'm anxiously awaiting a long flight to dive into it.

So yeah, people who need to do an essay:

1. Farmgirl
2. Jacs / gloria
3. steve (haha. Dude, you can go over the word limit if you want)
4. Varian - get another shirt for one of your bitches
5. Ginger
6. Brook
7. girl
8. flyn20
9. Cynthia
10. HumanFreakShow300
11. Rachel!!

That's just to name a few!!

What about Lissa? I think she should write one for sure!!!

Miss, I already have a bastardly shirt, (which I wear all the time) but do you guys really want an essay from me?

Ok Lissa perhaps you are right. =0) Rock that bastardly tee.

shit. I gotta forward it to you.

Do you still only have 3 essays? Ok, fine. I will send one in, as soon as I find time, but I can't guarantee it will be anything you will want to read! What is Bastardly Effectieness?

dude.... cynthia... we got a bunch!!!!...i think we're actually going to have to judge these things!!!...i don't believe?!?!?!

you, brook, lissa, and farmgirl have been around long enough that you girls should have a lot to say... i'm sure at one point you 4 have had something to say about my female hotness choices....

Hey, I am not a lesbian or anything, but I think your female hotness choices are fine!

I will send one in before June 15th. I am a procrastinator...sorry. This is the busy season for those of us on the farm. Yes, I actually do live on a farm! :)

I manage a horse ranch, and do my graphics part-time from home, and yes, you are right, this is the busy season! Mowing and breeding! And graphics too! Maybe they will gie us an extended deadline! haha!

Yes, I actually do live on a farm! :)

I gotta see you hugging a big cow in your bastardly t.

priceless!!

Cynthia, you live in the boonies too? My god.

I am not harvesting anything, but planting things...mainly corn and a HUGE garden with onions, potatoes, tomatoes, beans, peas, cabbage, broccoli, etc. We also are have lots of new babies here (dairy goats) that take a lot of time to take care of. We also raise Angus cattle, so enjoy your Hardee's burgers-HA HA! We also have beehives to take care of with 3 more scheduled to arrive in a few weeks, as well as our new chickens that are about 4 weeks old at this point. Not to mention building fence, it's hard work you city folk!
BUT I promise I WILL submit an entry to try and get a free T. I know just the cow I will take my picture with...she likes to give kisses.

Goooo BASTARDLY ANNIVERSARY contest!!!!!! Wow, I suppose it will be a contest. Wooohoooooo! I love our bastardly readers!

[...] that you can discuss in your Bastardly Essay (yes, the same essay that can WIN YOUR ASS A FREE BASTARDLY SHIRT!!!). The Question: Does [...]

23 more days, my friends!!! Send in those lame essays for a chance to win a bastardly T!!

Hey Fas! Make sure you send them to me and the details of judging. BY THE WAY ... me and Ching Chong Chan had a blast on sunday. I laughed so hard it hurt. We both really miss you.

No you dork, he has come and left already. Its all your fault Brian didn't come up to visit. You bastard.

i just wore my Bastardly shirt a few days ago. didn't get any good pics in it, though. i'll have to remember to take some pics next time i'm out on the town. i was wearing it in Vegas, though.

and yes, i'd love to have another one. (one size smaller this time because if i'm gonna put a girl in it to take pics... it can't be too big).

Oh Steve! I can't help but say that I am a tad grossed out by some of the things you say. But I supposed everyone has their own way of expressing themselves. You make porn, so I guess it comes with the territory. I'm not sure if I should be flattered or disgusted. Anyone else have any suggestions?

shoot i ain't trying to get people to write the typical Intro, Body, Conclusion type essay w/ a strong Topic Sentence....

okay, we'll see what kinda comments we get... and see what happens... i still think our site is what thesisesessss could be made of!

It's not looking good, my missy. Not. Looking. Good!

I think we'll need to submit some of our own to make ourselves feel a little better.

haha. Pretty much, my friend.

We are so sad. How desperate does someone need to be to give away 100% cotton Tees that are guaranteed to get you laid within 3 weeks?! Seriously. We should be hoarding these T-shirts.

SO yeah, kit, you can pretty much write the entire thing in Vietnamese & you'll probably pull away with a new shirt.

Did I mention that these shirts are pre-shrunk tees manufactured in China by Hanes?! We're talkin' quality, people, quaaa-leeee-teeee!!!

kitten gave us 495 words....g'yeah!!!! come one farmgirl i know you like!!!!

You think we can get Gemma to write one? HAhahahahahahahahaha.

How come I haven't gotten any of the essays?

no no no....no extended deadline for working on a farm or ranch!!!! c'mon now!!!!

what you got harvesting farmgirl?!?!?!?

I was just kidding about the deadline--don't freak out! I am a displaced Yankee in Good Ol' Boy Texas! By way of Seattle. Talk about two different worlds! And I don't just mean the difference in rainfall either!

Lame? aw man. I resent that.

What?! THe bastard is already in the bay area? I thought he was hitting up Cali this coming weekend?

miSs, big steve is always willing to "cum and visit," just tell me the where and the when, my bootyful thai princess. Big daddy steve wants to freak you nasty; then we'll cuddle, talk about literature, the best moments of our lives, and discuss house plans for our(and our children's) future nest.

V-man, how about a Bastardly t-shirt photo with some fine Japanese-Seattlite honies all over you. I'll be in Seattle in late June, maybe we can get together and go on the hunt. Damn shame 'bout Sachiko being gone; that birdie WAS FINE; at least Jacks got a peak before she flew to locales unknown. I'm still willing to do Osaka with you if you're game. My August is pretty clear, and those nipponese ladies get really hot and wet during those scorching Kansai summers. keep in touch.

Yes....my people slave for 8 cents an hour to makes these fine quality garments for us!!! Gotta love the cheap chinese labor!!!...woo hoo!!!!

"By way of Seattle"...... yes!!! v-man would agree w/ me.... Seattle is grrrrreat! all i'm missing here is an influx of hot colombian women!

well, June 30th is my b-day... so, be so kind as to round up some hotties and we'll make a night of it. just don't bring any "wet blanket", friends along like Jackson did in Vegas. the kickin it was so ripe for him but he was on lockdown with some dudes that just didn't know how to kick it.

Done and sent.

I miss the coffee houses, the culture, the interesting people, the arts, the restaurants of many different nationalities.....I DON'T miss the rain, the traffic or the high prices! but yeah, Seattle is great!

Oh damnit, when it asked for ethnicity I put white... does that count?!?!