Archive - Sep 28, 2005

Please don't be annoying. We beg you.

If any single IP is seen using multiple nicks, they will be banned from the site b/c you're pretty much ruining the flavor of the blog. You know who you are.

Love,

Bastardly.com

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For the next month (or so), we'll be doing a special series of posts dealing with Halloween. It'll be a Bastardly Halloween w/ celebrities, so look out, kiddies! I have a feeling that 90% of the Halloween related posts will deal with hookers, whores, & sluts---you know, the usual bastardly topics.

Ok, so with that in hand, let's start the series w/ Bai Ling. After much thought, Bai Ling decided to put on some clothes for this year's Halloween. She's going trick-or-treatin' as a Chinese hooker. Here's the first bad joke (of presumably many): [drum roll] I wish I could give Bai Ling my candy bar. Yes, that was a sad & dirty joke. I'm ashamed of myself.

Aaaaw, she looks so cute. I love those little spiders on her silky, Asian bod. Nice touch.

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It's true that Hayden Panettiere is super young & we here tend to stay away from mocking minors, but if one of these minors is about to jump off a bridge into a narrow, drying river filled with pointy rocks & thirsty alligators, we're naturally forced to play mommy & daddy (they're currently on an extended Mal Dives vacation fully paid by daughter-dearest---can you really blame them?).

I guess, if you want to learn staying power (yes, Paris has got it) & a winning strategy on how to attract tons of attention & money (until now, it's working), then Paris Hilton is the perfect teacher. She's like the modern Madonna---a genius in self-marketing.

May God have mercy on Hayden.

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These pics is kinda old, but I just couldn't pass them up!

Lindsay Lohan's trying to spruce up her image, so what's her official strategy? Very simple: Hang out with cracked-out, pill-loving camera whores & watch them make a fool of themselves. It's very funny to see Mary-Crack Olsen strike a different pose in each pic, but I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt & assume she's just fooling around. Then again, w/ look on Lindsay's face, I gotta also throw in the crack-factor.

Also, what's the scoop w/ bloody Kelly Osbourne? Has she officially folded her punk-rocka/rebellious girl cards & joined The (superficial) Darkside?

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