Archive - Jul 28, 2005

Bing Bong Tables truly missed out on the Real Melinda! Sucks for them!


She's cute. She has extremely large natchurales & apparently goes into slutty stripper mode when she gets drunk @ bars, so what more could perverted guys & chumps w/ no shame ask for?!

The following photos were probably posted by one of her bastardly (bitter) girlfriends who's pissed-off at the fact that MTV failed to chose her over big-boobied Melinda for Real World, Austin. Anyway, get ready for a wild ride in which you'll see one of Melinda's nippsies playing peek-a-boo!

Enjoy!

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Bastardly Postulate:

If Drunk = x & x = Tara, then all the following must be true:

1. Tara Reid's new name is Drunk Reid

2. Tara Reid is a drunk

3. The words 'drunk' and 'tara' are synonymous

Is this even newsworthy? Tara Reid, as you people know is traveling around the world filming Wild On! episodes for E!. Except for pervy, porn-deprived middle schoolers, does anyone else watch that show anymore?!

While you think, here's a picture of Drunk Reid's ass crack spillin' a few words. Cover your noses & grab the yackbag!!!

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So yeah, there's only one thing to say in a situation like this: What the FUCK?! After all, who tampons a car?! Is this a prank that totally flew over me? I've heard of toilet papering, oiling (truly bastardly), egging, but when did tampons get thrown into the mix?!

Actually, I'm making it sound much worse than what actually happened. In short, there was only one tampon underneath my driver's side vipers---a spot reserved for coupons, flyers & dead bugs. Additionally, it was an unused tampon in its original packaging, so there was no chance of contracting herpes or other STDs.

I'm also curious whether the perpetrator is a hottie trying to express her undying love for me...maybe she'll proceed to panty'ing or G-string'ing & then possibly nude-photo'ing me! Bring it on, baby!!!

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I guess this is why Jamie never responded to out Bastardly Interview request...damn you!!! But she's still such a HOT Korean...as I've documented in this post... and this one too!!!

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DTV wants OJ to cough up $25k to cover everything from the free porn he enjoyed over the years to the toilet paper that Direct TV's legal departed had to use while preparing the case.

Why would a man getting chump change (amounting to around $15K/month*) from his former employer (NFL) need to steal something as frivolous as cable?! If this is Direct TV's attempt to get free advertising @ the expense of OJ's already shady reputation, it's absolutely absurd. Naturally, in retaliation to all the bullshit, OJ's defense department claims that their client had nothing to do w/ the theft.

Simpson's attorney, Yale Galanter, said Tuesday that the judge "basically denied us our right to a jury trial. ... This was a decision made by a judge in chambers. They say he did it; we say he didn't. A jury should be able to make that decision." [LA Times]

It appears as if the judge is just too afraid of losing against OJ, so he pretty much skipped the entire process & made the judgment. I also have a feeling that the judge, DTV & everyone involved in the case are all racist bastards hired by the Goldman family to make OJ's life a living hell.

Damn them.


*Heard it on a documentary. I swear!

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