Archive - Jul 2005

Nadia Bjorlin's eyes are more mesmerizing than they are freakish, but I seriously doubt any guy will be looking into her eyes all too long after they check out some of her other assets.

One thing's for sure, though, Nadia's attendance @ the Dukes of Hazzard premiere made the questionable remake totally worthwhile. Even though I've been hearing some God-awful reviews, I know for a fact, that the dude sitting next to Ms. Bjorlin @ the premiere had a big, fat smile on his face through the entire flick. Can you blame him?

Our new camera---the BCC---captured a couple of the reasons...

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Golden Balls


Total tragedy! If you don't mind...

1. Subtitles
2. Spain
3. Naked latinas
4. A dumbass character who you just want to strangle
5. And, a tragic ending

...then this flick is for you. Top to bottom, it's pretty solid & explores many of our inherent weaknesses including greed, our insatiable sexual hunger & complete, utter selfishness. Check it!




Bastardly Updates - Polls!

Polls are fun (right?), so we're gonna experiment with them once a month. If you have any suggestions in terms of what type of things we should poll, please comment below or send us an email. The funnier the better! At this point, the polls will be a monthly endeavor & at the end of each period I'll post up the results for further bullshitting.

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This page will hopefully be updated one of these days w/ tons of lies about who we really aren't, so until then, why not support the bastardly cause & wait in style?

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Sorry, I just can't get enough of her....she just has so many hot pics to choose from!!!

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I'm still anxiously awaiting for her to push the Hanes line of skimpy G-strings (excuse the redundancy)!! Let's hope the designers at Hanes pull through w/ this request. The designers must realize that JLH is not your average hottie & in trying to make her look average is a lost cause within itself. All I know is that JLH made a bad & presumably desperate career move by signing up w/ Hanes.

If her wish was to splatter her bod all over middle-class America, then Victoria Secrets would've been a better option. As we know, bastard agents can be so convincing sometimes! They don't hesitate, for even a second, to jump on lame opportunities & worst of all, they manage to do majority of their convincing while their client is drunk or high. Damn them.

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So the inevitable finally came to pass: Brooke Burke left her plastic surgeon hubs. Three reasons come to mind:

1. She was finished getting all the free plastic surgery; nose, cheeks, chin, eyes, you name it & Brooke probably got it!
2. The sex was getting boring (of course)
3. Since she has a kid, she'll be collecting some dough & not have to deal w/ the bullshit of married life.

If there was a number 4, it would probably be irreconcilable differences, but that's a given in every divorce, right?

Primer On Sexing Up Newly Single Brooke

So to all the guys who have been waiting for this day to arrive, you better hurry! I'm assuming @ this point in her life, the last thing Brooke wants is commitment. She just wants sex---plain, dirty, hair-pulling, rough, noisy, western sex!!

Once again, any mention of becoming Neriah's (her daughter) father or wanting a long-term relationship, Brooke will automatically reject your applications for sexual relations (this includes clothed-sex-making-out sessions). Keep it simple & enjoy the Brookooty! Ow!

Just in case you forgot, here's another pic of Brooke...

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