Archive - May 2005

I'm sorry that it had to come to this, Serena, but if you're going to keep getting in front of the cameras, I'll have to keep taking shots.

I would also like to apologize to Wesley Snipes for linking his mug to one of the William sisters. Let's just say that Serena is more masculine than Wesley is feminine.

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For their 2005-2006 show in NYC, Oakley pushed something truly funky: The half-sweater. Technically, the design is pretty useless in keeping anyone warm, but from a style & foreplay standpoint, I can see it working.

In the superficial crowd, indecision is king. There's now an answer to that all elusive question, "I'm cold, but I still want to show off my new boobs. What do I do?" No worries, girls, Oakley has come to the rescue.

Now on chilly nights, boyfriends, adulterous acquaintances & legitimate husbands can enjoy one warm & one cool boob on exclusive beaches all around the world. How's that for indulgence?

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With a reputation like his, Fred shouldn't be kissing 14-yr old girls.

Fred married at age 20 and had a daughter named Adriana Durst. Fred later divorced his wife after finding out she cheated on him. [Limp Bizkit]

She cheated on him?! I don't know about that one.

It's probably just me, but I had no clue this guy was a father. I always under the impression that manwhores were smart enough to wear a condom or two when enjoying sex in a state of complete, utter drunkenness.

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Photos Courtesy of Crossover Agency

Daniela (who's a hottie too!) continues to provide us with the fabulous shots of Paulina! Ow!!! Be sure to check out one of Paulina's final shows on the Pau-Latina tour!!!!

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How sad is that? After months of gagging, sexing yacking, starving & all the other -ing words that imply anorexia, bulimia & excessive dieting, Lindsay's Paris Hilton transformation is finally complete.

Lindsay, you can't be serious! All this time you wanted to look like Paris Hilton?!

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Since we know that Female Paris is incapable of love as we know & understand it, this latest news of her engagement is merely another business maneuver to solidify her superficial empire. Let's just say that there's no stronger base than one that's potentially worth around 5-beeeelyon dollars.

Since it's pretty much written that Paris will walk down the isle with this dude*, whether his family likes it or not, let's contemplate a few reasons why one would want to marry another person of the opposite sex w/ exactly the same name.

1. Your name is Paris Hilton & you breathe only Money, penis, & sex (in that order)
2. There are billions of dollars @ stake
3. Your ego is the size of a galaxy
4. You want to say, 1) "I love you, Paris," 2) "You are the best, Paris," & 3) "You are so hot, Paris" each day for a few years until you file for divorce claiming 'irreconcilable differences'

Please add to this list accordingly.


Read about here:
* Paris Gets Engaged

*Unless she can bag a Prince from either England or some Middle Eastern country or of course, woo Bill Gates into committing adultery.

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