Archive - Nov 10, 2005

Girls, do you see the damage that Greek Shipping Heir Juice can do when it gets into your eyes?! I'm pretty sure that the potential amount of money that can be obtained by allowing a billionaire Greek shipping heir to explode into your wide-open eyes is well worth the trouble.

Don't deny it, girls.

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Star Magazine, Nov-14, 2004

Joel is here in the U.K. with me and we bought video cameras so we were joking around, acting like we were on 'Newlyweds.' [SF Gate]

Scandalous path to their first sex video: First they fool around pretending to be on Newlyweds, then the clothes come off & BOOM!

'Houston, we have Horse Porn!'

Oh man, I'm sure computer geeks & those biten by the horse fetish bug anxiously await the release.

In a Bastardly interview (one of those interviews in which we ask Hilary questions & accept answers that are taken out of context from stuff Hills has said in the past), we caught up with these two lovebirds to measure the progress of their sex video:

The Bastardly: Hillary, we hear you guys just bought video cameras, so naturally the next step is creating your own sex video & spreading it all across the internet, right?

Hillary: I'm definitely not planning on anything like that anytime soon. And if I did, I would not make a huge thing about it. [SF Gate]

So there you have it, kids. Hillary & Joel don't have immediate plans for a sex video, but when it does eventually surface, don't expect them apologize or incessantly talk about it.

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How can you go from looking crazy hot to looking like Star Jones?!

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Anna-Nicole has a man. What the hell is going on? She mysteriously disappears for a few weeks & then suddenly comes out from under the rock w/ a boy toy? The disappearance, like all celebrity disappearances, could only mean that Anna spent some time under the knife (again). What this time?!

As for this guy, apart from definitely packin' a lot of dough, I'm pretty sure that he's either gay or has a few loose screws in his head & by the looks of these photos, either one could be possible.

Here are a few more pics from the set.

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Here come a bunch of old posts that were scheduled to go up during our downtime...

Pam Anderson (even though she's looking more & more like Dolly P) is a bottomless pit of money.

1. Bay Watch residuals (millions)
2. Pam Anderson slot machines in Vegas (estimated @ around a million/year---saw this on the Travel Channel)
3. Porno with Tommy Lee residuals (probably nothing & can be downloaded on the Internet)
4. And now, a mute with big boobs on Fox News---probably gets paid by the game.
5. Party invites
6. Sex with super rich men---a lot of women in power have sex for gifts (also known as "funds wired into a bank account of your choice")

Amazing, I tell you.

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First, for those of you who haven't seen the video of drunk Stavros recklessly ramming Paris' Bentley into a (stationary) white truck, you can watch it over @ TMZ.com.

Now with that in hand, Stavros is either a...

1. Complete dumbass
2. Horrible, angry, & unpredictable drunk
3. Or, of course, a billionaire hitman hired by the coalition of Greek shipping heirs to help put an end to Paris Hilton*.

Dude, if you want to fucking crash a car, do it like a true suicidal, drunk billionaire, man. Idea: Go the opposite way on the 405 @ around 3am in the morning (when the traffic happens to be moving) & I'm sure you can take care of business in style.







*He failed miserably.

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