Derek Jeter vs John Mayer: Bastardly Luckiest Bastard Matchup

Major props to J-Sin for hooking us up once again. He writes:
Personally, i think Jeter just barely edges out Mayer. Jessica Alba?
C'mon!

Peace!

Here's a snippet from SI.com:
Jeter comes to the table with Scarlett Johansson, Jessica Biel, Mariah Carey, Gabrielle Union, Jessica Alba and Vanessa Minillo. Mayer counters with Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Simpson, Minka Kelly and Cameron Diaz. [SI]

I gotta admit, each dude has banged his share of hotties, but I'm leaning toward Derek Jeter on this one. Jessica Alba? Vanessa Minnillo? Scarlet?! Fuck, man! Those are all chicks in the Bastardly Hottie Hall of Tasty Fame, so Derek Jeter is pretty much living the Bastardly Dream. Damn bastardwhorebag.

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60 Scandalous Comments

i wouldnt look at any of them twice

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 5:56pm

"Lucky" would imply that the dude has no business associating with those women. Out of the two, only Jeter gets mentioned by females as being "hot". Never heard that about Mayer. Therefore it's Mayer hands down.

By the way, has it actually been confirmed that Mayer and Aniston were an item?

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:02pm

I think Mayer is hot, I'm a total sucker for musicians.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:07pm

Both these dudes get proops from me, because they get the poon but they are not flashy about it, and they keep it low-key. That the way to do it. I give Jeter the edge because the chicks he's banged have been hotter IMO. Mayer got Aniston way past her prime and Cameron Diaz was hot for like one month in the 90's and people still think she's good looking for some reason.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:08pm

A lot of chicks are into John Mayer. But let's face it, if he weren't famous and hadn't banged a couple of celeb chicks, no women would be into the guy. He didn't really start getting crazy celeb poon until after he dated Jessica Simpson.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:10pm

Derek Jeter plays for my all time favorite baseball team.No doubt he's living the dream. Those pencil neck musicians always get there share for some reason it's a girl thing.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:19pm

@#3- Hey I used to play the piano Roxy, is that enough to get in your pants? :P

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:36pm

I went to the same school as Mayer.

I'd let him tear me in two any day of the week.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:38pm

Derek is hot john meyer looks like a bum

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:50pm

Jeter is punching some obsession worthy kitty. Meyer on the other hand did get JLH when she was in her prime and J.Simpson isn't something to sleep on. But fucking wit Jennifer Aniston? He lost with that one.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:54pm

mayer is luckier all the way! minus JLH of course.
I feel bad for jeter... alba and mariah AND minello. yikes. i hope he had a lot ot tylenol on hand.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:54pm

NO COMMENT!!!

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 6:56pm

^nice comment you crusty cum whore

Scarlett Johansson tips the odds in the first chumps favor easily.
however from these pics he looks like a total gimp next to mayer who is already a nob in the first place place

abomination has spoken

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 7:06pm

lol John Mayer can only get ugly chicks

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 7:09pm

Alba and Mariah!!!! Fuck, that's like owning a Bentley and a Rolls, plus Scarlett and vanessa too, shit this guy has got some serious game, it's not like he's a Director or record producer, so its not like they were fucking him for tracks or to be in a film,

Dude deserves a Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

Jeter for President

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 7:12pm

Wilmer Valderama shoulda been part of this match up.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 7:15pm

+1 to jeter for plowing lima

-3 to mayer for doing aniston, diaz and that cow jennifer love hewitt

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 7:31pm

^^^^ Yes, I will have to agree with that

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 7:47pm

i don't think banging jennifer aniston is something to brag about.
i'd totally do john mayer anyway. he's a lot better looking than most men out there.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 7:50pm

and didn't jeter, have abit of fun with jordana brewster too ???

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 7:57pm

There you go reading my mind again Glimmer!

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:00pm

j-sin, can you give us wilmer valderama's 'list' ???

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:01pm

bonecrusher 'perverted' minds think alike. ;)

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:02pm

Jeter loses 10 points for Gabbie cause who aint she been with the past couple years. A better match up would have been Jeter & Lenny Kravitz - of course prior his giving up the Na Na for the last 3 years.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:04pm

jeter gave Alba herpes and rumor is Jeter plays for both teams. A former male Yankee employee said Jeter tried to get him to do the dirty deed with him in the showers. The dude said he was fired because he is gay and yankees tried to kill the story but he's writing a tell all book about jeter and posada with pictures supposedly. I think Jeter likes the hot girls and uses them as beards. They all dump him and end up married or very much in love and Jeter makes them sign agreements not to spill his secrets. I call them all beards who look good on Jeter's arm

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:05pm

I like how people voted on this pole who don't even understand the concept of someone being called "lucky" in this sense.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:10pm

I'll help J-Sin out. These are some of the people Wilmer has dated:

Melyssa Ford, Jennifer Love, Mandy Moore, Rosario Dawson, Sofia Vergara, Jessica Alba, Ashley Olsen, Lindsay Lohan, Jaime Pressly, Patricia Velasquez, Scarlett Johansson

But date does not mean - Hit It... It's kinda like saying "Hook'd Up" which can mean a bunch of things

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:14pm

bonecrusher....give us lenny kravitz's list. *thank you* :)

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:16pm

Lenny has

Devon Aoki
Kylie Minogue
Naomi Campbell
Natalie Imbruglia
Lisa Bonet
Stella McCartney
Madonna
Vanessa Paradis
Adriana Lima
Nicole Kidman
Penelope Cruz

According to WhoDatedWho.com

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:22pm

Kravitz ftw!

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:24pm

wait a sec..isnt adriana lima a virgin....

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:27pm

The fact that John Mayer is awesome makes him win things like this by default (and by 'win' I mean: he is not the lucky one; he deserves it all).

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:29pm

Yeah Valderama had Lindsay before she got addicted to snow and took Mandy Moore's virginity. He is up there with the greats.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:32pm

Lol@32!

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:32pm

Biteme - Maybe she's one of those Bill Clinton / Monica Lewinsky kind of virgins?

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:33pm

#32

hehe, I just read BoneCrusher's comment in which he listed the people Wilmer has dated. So I listed some of the ones Lenny has dated based Glimmer's request.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:33pm

Oh and one other kat I would put up there would be Tommy Lee cause he has been all across the board with the different type of chics and he had Pam & Heather in their prime.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:35pm

mayer was doing jennifer love hewitt BEFORE she was a cow, people. he definitely gets points for that. and jennifer aniston is HOT! diaz is the only one of his i disagree with...jeter, i don't care for mariah carey, gabrielle union, or vanessa minillo. john's girls are way hotter

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:35pm

Yea, Tommy Lee is a good one.

But the ultimate player crown goes to Hugh Hefner. And then there's really nothing left to be said on this matter.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:37pm

true that pstroyer... I guess case closed...

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:39pm

i know his list isnt as long but marilyn manson is atrocious and he got rose mcgowan, dita von teese and evan rachel wood.
so since he is such a monstrosity i think each gal he banged is *10 points.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:46pm

thanks bonecrusher and pstroyer !!! :)

pstroyer...hey hef for usre. but he's a little past his prime. so it's not really closed. ;)(but sure give hef his life time achievement award though...)

anyway considering mayer's music what sort of females are you expecting him to date/"Hook'd Up" with. (love that term bonecrusher !)

i don't know considering how much jeter is winning/was this suppoded to be graded on a curve ??

ok since j-sin mentioned wilmer/i think he is the real winner.

ok i have no chance of being a baseball guy at jeter's level.

and if i wrote music i really doubt i'd have much chance of getting the combo of name recognition/sales of either kravitz nor mayer...

but with wilmer valderama/i just say...if i could just get on tv i could have sex with 'hot' females with a media profule.

the winner..aka the luckiest is wilmer.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 8:59pm

wilmer also the luckiest.. because even without media status/big money jeter/kravitz/mayer would do alot better than the 'average' guy.much better...

wilmer would have a harder/more unpredicatble path...

wilmer is the luckiest....

and biteme, thanks for putting manson on the table. :)

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 9:04pm

@ 28, BC, Wilmer dated Melyssa Ford???? i gotta give his props for that one, jeez

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 9:08pm

#43

There's no such thing as "past his prime" for Hugh Hefner. He's taking his harem of big-boobed blondes with him into the fucking grave.

http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/03_02/hefnerG150307_468x544.jpg

I think we'll have to go back in time to the big Middle-Eastern Sultans or African pharaohs to find a bigger player than Hefner.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 9:11pm

John Mayer's list is the sort of list you don't want people to know about. Cameron Diaz and Jennifer "My ass is the size of a small African country" Hewitt? Fuck no.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 9:15pm

@ 45 yeah Wilmer has done damage on the low key creep. I never realized how deadly he was until he went on Howard Stern and bragged. But yeah put Brown Bunny Jess Rabbit on his greatest hit list.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 9:21pm

oops i stand corrected/thanks pstroyer. :)

weenieroast that was too funny...

bonecrusher post bragging on stern. how has his list been ??? on the decline ???

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 9:32pm

i haven't dated melyssa ford/i don't own a honda accord either... ;)

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 9:33pm

I like him. He's hot. BTW, my friend saw his profile on a site with many nice photos. It seems called 'Ric h kis s. com'. Let me check it for you guys.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 10:01pm

..could you post some pics from the rich kiss site. come on...

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 10:09pm

LOL Glimmer you aint got no sense. & come on everyone is on the rich kiss site - get wit it!

Wilmer got a new movie coming out where he plays an OG :

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ehv9J_r4kqQ

This is where I think he met up with ford first.

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 11:16pm

Pretty impressive list, but I would have to give the crown to Dennis Rodman. For a man to be that ugly and hook up with Madonna in her prime (which is unbelievable!!!) is quite the accomplishment

Thursday, May 8th, 2008 @ 11:45pm

i gotta agree with foxyRoxy.. he's not my usual type, but something about those eyes and his voice is SOO DAMN fuckable..

Friday, May 9th, 2008 @ 3:00am

Dodgers Rock! But I have to give Jeter his props thats one impressive list. It's funny because it boils down to a preference choice for girls, which do you like Athletes or Musicians. A Rock and Roll Baseball Playing Male Model would get endless tail.

Friday, May 9th, 2008 @ 3:07am

John Mayers music sucks,if I want to see a man get emotional on stage I'll go to a live sex show.

Friday, May 9th, 2008 @ 9:07am

i would like to see'em both badly beaten with a blunt object.

Friday, May 9th, 2008 @ 10:06am

Derek Jeter because he's Derek Jeter. John Mayer always looks stoned and he's all emotional, gross. And Mariah Carey, I mean come on, Mariah fucking Carey.

Friday, May 9th, 2008 @ 10:20am

Well... John Mayer was close until he got with Cameron Diaz... the broad looks like Alfred E. Newman's little sister... you know, the guy from MAD Magazine!

Friday, May 9th, 2008 @ 8:54pm

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