Caption These, Bitches!! (Jessica Alba @ Nickelodeon's 2008 Kids' Choice Awards Edition)

guy in suspenders-"I dont care if she is pregnant, i'd still wreck that shit"

"Ha ha ha ha, oh my! I'm flattered, but you'll have to make do with grabbing my hand instead."

Guy in suspenders: "Cash Warren doesn't deseve Jessie, I would so make a better father than him"

Janet Jackson: "That bitch ain't got nothing on me"

Little Girl: "I hope I grow boobs like that"

Crowd: "Motorboat! Motorboat! Motorboat!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!

Girl in Ink ##looking over Jessica Alba## I'm hotter than that fat bitch. Nice dress, you look like a sparkly watermelon.

Guy in Suspenders ##thinking about Janet## I SAW YOUR BOOBY!

Janet Jackson ## thinking to herself ##:
Damn, that whale just totally beefed. Stop shaking hands already, you made the whole stage smell like ass.

i'd tap it it on her forehead. whoa, that is a huge expanse of green fabric. dunno, mixed on this, once the kid comes, the hips get wide and the vadge is kinda ruined. i've done worse tho.

Damn she's gotten fat.... LOL

That dress looks cheap. It looks like to be the same fabric and style of this skirt I saw at Rite Aid a while ago.

i know shes pregnant, but she looks like she ate Miley Cyrus and put her hair on as a wig....

9. Ana
That dress looks cheap. It looks like to be the same fabric and style of this skirt I saw at Rite Aid a while ago.

LOL!!! your so right, because all her "films" tank and make about 3 cents shes always loading up on free swag at parties/events/promotions/etc, so that she can wear couture, i know her man is old money, which kind of irks me due to the fact that shes ghetto pamona trash. i know he went to harvard, and i also find it strange that hes with herpes ho because she barely finished high school. plus, she barely knows how to speak correctly in the first place.

10. Phillip McCracken
i know shes pregnant, but she looks like she ate Miley Cyrus and put her hair on as a wig....

aaaaaaaahahahahahahahaha!!!!!! i love you phil, i think shes an overrated piece of shit that i wouldnt even peel off the bottom of my shoe! i wish shed just go under a rock, have the bastard there, and be fored to stay there because shes so fugly mirrors break from the very second she looks in one, and birds drop dead from the sky while flowers wilt when she walks by due to her nasty, cat litter fishy smell.

jes(sucks anyone off for a role in a "film" ) : "hi everyone! did you all get the memo? marriage is out and bastards are in! im having a brown one myself! cash is filming the birth so i can get even MORE famous with my video on youtube in the delivery-room pushing out lots of amniotic fluid, the brown bastard ( gosh! i hope it's cash's! i HAVE slept with SO many people before and after our breakup... )and the afterbirth will be sold on Ebay, starting at $5mill, but you can BUY IT NOW for $500 million!"

Taken seconds before the embarrassing moment that ended her failed career, Jessica Alba shouts, "HEY KIDS, PULL MY FINGER!!!" to a crowd of idiot children.

What followed can only be explained by brown-stained shreads around the ass of a green sequined dress and an empty cum-filled award-shaped Nickelodeon dildo.

"PUSH HER!"

"Alba reaches for a third dinner guest."

Wanna suck my milk cans?

LOL i loved the sparkely watermelon comment!!! she really has gotten fat, i know shes preggers, but i love how fat shes gotten. you know shes going to get back to the water, coffee and cig diet as soon as the brown bastard is born.
Jessica Alba did this to herself with her lack of brains and loads of stupidity. This backlash comes from all sides and it originated with her stupid shallow comments on many interviews that obviously offended, enraged or confused many people.
lol brown baby! i thought she wasnt ethnic? or latina? lol shes a walking contridiction. ive never liked this bitch, shes just a stupid mexican who thinks shes a white girl. im puerto rican and PROUD! and my ass is nicer than hers, knocked up or not.
i wish shed fall of the face of the earth, her and her brown baby lol
i hope she pushes out a still born and slits her bloated wrists.

RRRRRRIIINNG!

"Good Morning, Genetics Cafe. How may I help you?"

"Of course, Ms. Alba, how ARE you?"

"Mmm hmm, I see, yes that is unfortunate"

"I'm checking, but it does appear you ordered a Nordic-looking child with blonde hair and blue eyes. The "Alpine" model...."

"Yes, I understand, I read Dlisted, Ms. Alba, and those were some very unfortunate remarks you made, but you have already placed your order. Out policy is no cancellations or substitutions-ask Ms. Jolie and Shiloh."

"Ma'am, I appreciate you not taking that tone with me. I will talk to my supervisor, but we have a shortage on 'brown babies' due to the Jolie-Pitts and the Ritchies. I can put you on a waiting list, but that is all I can promise."

"Yes, ma'am, and "Bonos Diegos" to you too"

*dial tone*

What has this bitch been reading, The Gospel according to St. Bastard?! lol!!!!! jes, grow up

KIDS: "let's shake her hands harder so we can take a closer look at those jugs!"

ALBA: "Pregnancy has totally eliminated my sense of femininity and poise."

I actually want to Plough Her Pussy even more now I ve seen how Big and bulging her Buff Beautiful body has got.
Jessica is one hell of A YUMMY MUMMY WHO never fails to put a huge bulge my trousers crotch.