Petra: "Hey Bar, have you ever had a dutch oven?"
Bar: "No, but have you ever farted during sex? It's totally fuckin' funny, dude."

Petra: "I'm way hotter than you bitch, so give it up."
Bar: "I gotta fart."
Petra (pic 2): "Did you just fart?!"

Petra: If my idiotic stylist let me wear the fuck-me heels like you're wearing right now, everyone would say that I was the hotter of the two. Aren't these shoes total crap?

Bar: Yes, I paid your stylist to make you wear those awful things because I knew Moe would do a Bastartly Matchup about us. I win!!

Bar says" What have you been doing with yourself Russian whore?" Petra says "I'm just finishing my new book- How to lose a boyfriend in one tsunami."

"If you don't shut up, I'm going to rip your shirt off and turn this into a Bud Light Commercial!"

PS BN....Funny stuff.

Poor Petra is way past her prime.

Catfight! (please)

BAR: When was the last time you had sex with a real loser?
PETRA: I don't think I ever have.
BAR: I'm in the mood to make some loser's dream come true.
PETRA: That's a very nice thing to do. It's nice to give back.
BAR: Would you be interested in a menage a trois with me? With a real loser?
PETRA: I think. Okay.
BAR: I think the same thing.
PETRA: Oh my God, we're like so thinking the same thing.
BAR: We're like twins. Almost.
PETRA: Except you're prettier than me.
BAR: No I'm not. You're so much prettier than me. Look how fat I am. I feel disgusting.
PETRA: No, I'm so fat. You're so skinny. You look hot.
BAR: So do you.
PETRA: Ha! We're like so in tune with each other.
BAR: So what do you think about my idea?
PETRA: Which one?
BAR: About finding a loser and fucking him?
PETRA: Okay. But I don't know any losers.
BAR: I do. There's this one guy who works at Leo's house. He's like the guy who fixes all the computers.
PETRA: What's his name?
BAR: Ralph. Ralph Something.
PETRA: That's a funny name.
BAR: I have his number. Maybe I should call him and tell him to meet me at the W Hotel at midnight.
PETRA: What does he look like?
BAR: Short and bald and hairy and kind of ugly.
PETRA: We would really make him happy.
BAR: That's what I was thinking!
PETRA: Oh my God!
BAR: You sit on his face and I'll suck him off.
PETRA: I can't remember the last time I actually sat on a guy's face.
BAR: He's got a moustache.
PETRA: A pussy tickler. Those are in right now.
BAR: Uh-huh.

These two look so healthy and gorgeous they actually make me want to put on about a stone...it's rare to see 'womanly' rather than 'emaciated' these days...

Ralph, your talents are wasted

BAR: Have you had some Leo D yet. All the hot supermodels are trying it.

Petra: My mother told me to just say no.

petra looks gorgeous

Petra to Bar: I'll take you down like a tsunami if you think you're going to take any attention from me.